The Humor Thread


 
LMichaels said:
I used to work in airline industry. For one I was a Service (gate) agent and the other a flight attendant. Two stories one kinda mean on the part of one person the other funny as get out on my part. A agent I used to work with in Chicago used to take great fun in making an onboard welcome announcement when he opened the aircraft door. (some airlines require the gate agent to do this mine did). He would think it great fun to say "welcome to xxxxx city anything but Chicago" and wait for the reaction. I hated that he did that. If anyone has lived the life of a flight attendant though, you will fully "get" the second one. I was making my announcements just prior to push back and the safety talk. It had been a long day, and we had a lot of "legs" under our belts that day. Of course I misread my little assignment card kept in our lanyard and said "Ladies and Gentlemen welcome aboard Delta Flight XXXX (wrong number) with not stop service to XXXX (wrong city). The gasps and people jumping out of their seats was very funny but then I realized my mistake and corrected and apologized and a huge sigh of relief went up. Sorry for the novel LOL
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Our employer sent 2 of us to a training workshop in Denver, CO, in January many years ago. We flew out of Ontario, CA, during a very violent windstorm that got so bad they shut the airport down shortly after we took off. It was a very rough take-off until we gained altitude, and we had separate seating so had no conversation during the flight. When we arrived over Denver a winter storm had just passed through and we had to circle the airport while they de-iced the runway. Upon landing, I found out my co-worker was absolutely terrified about flying and he was seated next to a retired Air Force vet who talked about nothing but airplane accidents he had witnessed during his years of service. My poor co-worker was a nervous wreck by the time he got off the plane, poor guy.
 
Ed Pinnell said:
Upon landing, I found out my co-worker was absolutely terrified about flying...
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Pour yourselves a cup of coffee, this will take a bit....

In the early 90's, the company I was working for was based in MI's northwestern Lower Peninsula (I had an office window less than 50 yards from Lake Michigan,) and had a 2nd manufacturing plant in Tennessee. I got scheduled to make a visit to TN, and would be travelling with 2 women from the front office. Another gent in the office (who I still talk to once a year or so,) got wind of this, and that it was my first time flying commercial. He primed them on Friday that I was a absolutely horrible traveller, but was unable to chase me down to let me know. On Monday, I met the women at the airport, checked in and boarded, they were a row ahead and on the other side of the aisle. On the first leg of a two hop trip, I'm reading a book, and drinking a cup of coffee, while they're continually looking back at me and talking back & forth. On the ground changing planes, the truth comes out. Turnabout is fair play, we think. Game on.....

I returned a few days before they did, solo. On the way off the flight, I acquired an air sick bag, and stopped at the all night grocery for a can of beef stew. Just before lunch the next day, I opened up the can of stew, dumped it in the air sick bag, and left it on the driver's seat in his van, his long standing habit was to run home for lunch. Unbeknownst to me, he skipped lunch, his daughter came out to the plant and dropped dinner off in the passenger seat as he was working late on a project.

The following morning, he comes down to my office..." we have to talk....." Now, I still have an open invite to go sailing with him, and we've drank a lot of beer together, at least he had a smile on his face. After he got home, his daughter went back out to the van for some, brought his dinner back in and said "Dad, why didn't you eat?" "I *DID*....." Turns out, he'd just grabbed the air sick bag, dumped it into a bowl in the break room, nuked it and ate it.

I just about fell out of my chair laughing. "I am gonna buy you lunch, but I also have to tell you that I'm gonna be telling this story for YEARS."

A few years later, when I was moving on to greener pastures, during my departure lunch, he made sure to give me a can of beef stew. We still laugh about it.
 
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