The Humor Thread

Rusty James

TVWBB Guru
The following are actual transcription notes taken out of people's charts. What do you think the doctor meant?

• The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1994.
• The patient has no past history of suicides.
• The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
• Discharge Status: Alive but without permission.
• The patient refused an autopsy.
• She is numb from her toes down.
• While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
• On the second day, the knee was better and on the third day, it had completely disappeared.
• Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
• The patient was to have a bowel resection, however he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
• Bleeding started in the rectal area, and continued all the way to Los Angeles.
• The patient lives at home with his mother, father and pet turtle who is presently enrolled in daycare 3 times a week.
• Rectal exam revealed a normal sized thyroid.
• The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician who breathed and cried immediately.
• The lab test indicated abnormal lover function
 

Joan

TVWBB Pro
The following are actual transcription notes taken out of people's charts. What do you think the doctor meant?

• The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1994.
• The patient has no past history of suicides.
• The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
• Discharge Status: Alive but without permission.
• The patient refused an autopsy.
• She is numb from her toes down.
• While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
• On the second day, the knee was better and on the third day, it had completely disappeared.
• Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
• The patient was to have a bowel resection, however he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
• Bleeding started in the rectal area, and continued all the way to Los Angeles.
• The patient lives at home with his mother, father and pet turtle who is presently enrolled in daycare 3 times a week.
• Rectal exam revealed a normal sized thyroid.
• The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician who breathed and cried immediately.
• The lab test indicated abnormal lover function
Rusty, thank you so much for posting this. It is sooo hilarious !!!!!
 

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