During his daily walk, an elderly man passes by a frog sitting on a bench.
The frog says, "Hey mister. If you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful woman."
Astonished, the man says "I'll think about it." He picks up the frog and continues his walk. A half mile later, the frog says, "Well, what do you think? Have you decided to kiss me yet?"
The man says, "Nah. At my age I'm more interested in having a talking frog."
Early one morning Busted Shovel residents Clem & Jeb are walking along the river bank and see a man that's been eaten by a crocodile. All that's left is the man's head sticking out of the crocodile's mouth.
Clem turns to Jeb and says: "Git a load of that guy camping out with his swanky Lacoste sleeping bag."