The Humor Thread


 
An elderly gentleman, now living alone, decided his house took more keeping than he could be bothered with any more, so he decided to sell it and move into sheltered housing. On hearing of this plan, his family were aghast: ”You don’t want to go there, Dad! It’s all old ladies and they’ll be chasing you; you’ll never get any peace!” He dismissed this idea as ridiculous, he was too old for that kind of nonsense now.

The sale went ahead and he duly moved in to a flat in the complex. A few days later he was leaving his apartment when a silver-haired woman passed his door. “You’re new here!” she said. “Yes, I only moved in two days ago.” ”Are you married?” The man sighed: after a moment’s thought he answered ”I was married but I murdered my wife, cut her in pieces and dumped the lot in the river.”

”So you’re single??”….
 
I love driving “Stick” well, I used to. I offered to take several “youths” and teach them how to drive manual transmission.
The answer from every one of them was “Why do I need to learn that?!” I stated that it was good to know, in case you ever want to really drive and feel what’s going on or if you are in a situation where you have got to use a manual, all I heard was crickets and a blank look.
 
Timothy F. Lewis said:
I love driving “Stick” well, I used to. I offered to take several “youths” and teach them how to drive manual transmission.
The answer from every one of them was “Why do I need to learn that?!” I stated that it was good to know, in case you ever want to really drive and feel what’s going on or if you are in a situation where you have got to use a manual, all I heard was crickets and a blank look.
Click to expand...
Several years ago, I got a call from our neighbors..... without getting into details, she sent her daughter over when I was going to make a run to the grocery store. Said daughter was about 13 or 14 at the time, and I was driving a diesel pickup with a 5spd stick. She climbed into the passenger seat, and as I'm driving down the street towards the first stop sign, she did have the presence of mind to ask me "what are you doing with your right hand?" Her life experience had never exposed her to anything other than automatic transmissions. Around that time, I did take her older brother up to the high school parking lot with my Jeep (also a 5spd,) to teach him a bit about a stick. He's now an OTR driver.
 
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