The Humor Thread


 
Bob Correll said:
I've seen a few headlines saying Texas Roadhouse is selling ready-to-grill steaks.
I find this funny.
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We have a local pizza/italian place that does mostly delivery with a dozen or so locations. Just got an email from them this morning announcing they are now selling make-at-home pizza kits.
 
Phil Perrin said:
View attachment 2061
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Found this recipe on another site, (their humor thread). It is for a turkey, but, since I am always posting recipes here, thought this would come in handy for the duck.. lol

Duck Stuffing

4 cups crushed dry bread crumbs
1/2 cup sage
1/4 cup onion
1/2 cup celery
1/2 cup uncooked popcorn
1 tsp. salt
5 cups broth

Mix well; stuff duck. Cook 5 hours or until popcorn blows the *** off of the duck.
 
3 blondes were arguing over Easter. First blonde says "Easter is my favorite holiday, you get to put up an evergreen tree, put presents under it, and open them that morning!"

2nd blonds says "No, that's wrong! Easter is when cook out hot dogs and hamburgers on your Weber grill, then go watch fireworks in the evening!"

3rd blonde says, "No, you're both wrong. Easter is about the resurrection of Christ. After he was dead, his body was placed in a cave, and a large rock was rolled over the entrance. 3 days later, he became alive again. He moved the rock out of the way, exited the cave...


















...and if he sees his shadow, there were 6 more weeks of winter!"
 
I happen to find humor in typos and other grammatical errors, so I got a kick out of the description of Jim Thome as the Indians entry in this list:

www.mlb.com

The best first baseman in every team's history

No one loves a good debate quite like baseball fans, and with that in mind, we asked each of our beat reporters to rank the top five players by position in the history of their franchise, based on each player's career with that franchise. First up were catchers. Now, it's
www.mlb.com www.mlb.com

"The power bat of the Tribe's magical teams of the 1990s, the brawny yet gentile Thome ranks among the all-time fan favorites in Cleveland."

I'm glad to know that not being Jewish didn't adversely affect his career.;)
 
My Self-Isolation Quarantine Diary

Day 1 – I Can Do This!! Got enough food and wine to last a month!

Day 2 – Opening my 8th bottle of Wine. I fear wine supplies might not last

Day 3 – Strawberries: Some have 210 seeds, some have 235 seeds. Who Knew??
Day 4 – 8:00pm. Removed my Day Pajamas and put on my Night Pajamas.
Day 5 – Today, I tried to make Hand Sanitizer. It came out as Jello Shots!!
Day 6 – I get to take the Garbage out. I’m So excited, I can’t decide what to wear.
Day 7 – Laughing way too much at my own jokes!!
Day 8 – Went to a new restaurant called “The Kitchen”. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have No clue how this place is still in business.
Day 9 – I put liquor bottles in every room. Tonight, I’m getting all dressed up and going Bar hopping.
Day 10 – Struck up a conversation with a Spider today. Seems nice. He’s a Web Designer.
Day 11 – Isolation is hard. I swear my fridge just said, “What the hell do you want now?”
Day 12 – I realized why dogs get so excited about something moving outside, going for walks or car rides. I think I just barked at a squirrel.
Day 13 – If you keep a glass of wine in each hand, you can’t accidently touch your face.
Day 14 – Watched the birds fight over a worm. The Cardinals led the Blue Jays 3–1.
Day 15 – Anybody else feel like they’ve cooked dinner about 395 times this month?
 
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