Men who can't grill?


 
My dad is a heck of a cook but I don't really remember him grilling all that much as a kid. I do remember a lot of grilled chicken with bbq sauce slathered all over it. Grilling is something I kind of picked up on my own and I did it very badly for YEARS. I used to think the light the bag charcoal was the best thing ever. It was either that or douse the coals with can of lighter fluid. Then I'd flip burgers 750 times while mashing them down. My first grill was a cheap walmart type. I had no idea what the vent was for, or the lid for that matter. I can't remember exactly when I saw my first chimney, I think it was on food network, but it blew my mind.

I had an old teacher who said "Anything that is worth doing is worth doing poorly." It's kind of a stupid thing to say at first glance but the point is that even if you aren't good at something, it's worth it to try. I think grilling is that way. Even bad grilling is still fun and rewarding. I still hate to see someone butchering it, but its bad manners to touch another man's grill.
 
Great BBQ stories here.

Dad was a great cook, but he only bbq'ed when we had company over on a very basic bbq. We had a pool in the backyard so all us kids just swam, jumped off the diving board or played Marco - Polo until the food was ready.
Mom hated to cook, but when she cooked she made some tasty meatloaf, baked chicken and her short bread cookies were off the hook.

I took cooking class in High School just so i could eat, i learned some cool stuff in that class and my sister noticed it, she would say you cook breakfast on the weekend and ill do the dishes.....Done deal.

Fast forward to men that can't grill..

In my old neighborhood he was known as Blackened Dan as he overcooked everything, chicken, steaks, brisket , you name it.
He would always invite people over for a Sunday Football BBQ, great times but not good food.

Our joke between our friends/old neighbors about Blackened Dan is like this.

Hey look i think Blackened Dan is Barbecuing today, when we see something like this...;)

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Next up Matt, my next-door neighbor ...
 
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"Men who can't grill" just need to be shown by a proper example. I've had several Aha moments and seen several new things......... I've also screwed up royally on cheap grills while BSing with friends drinking beers.

I wouldn't say being a good griller makes someone a good man (not by a long shot), but I'm pretty sure that any good man could learn to work a grill respectably.

I know a few that grill rarely if ever, but still manage to take care of and feed their families. Yes, I show them whenever I get the chance :)

Some of my earliest flubs were with a grill full of NY Strips blackened between beers (standing on dad's back deck, next to the grill), followed shortly by greasy beef ribs, a few years later some pork spares...cooked for about an hour on a kenmore gasser - we stood outside my old warehouse with a beer BSing, & we did our best to choke them down.

I got rid of that gasser when I got my WSM (2006) - the gasser was a father's day gift to my dad that I kept when he moved. Sometime around 2003-2004 I started cooking low & slow on it.... I'd put a cookie sheet on the lower grates & cook everything just on the top I'd also found a smoker box for wood chips years earlier.... I think I'd been tripping along "the ring of fire" or something that linked a bunch of sites like this together...a couple years earlier I'd considered a BGE. Not sure why exactly I went with the WSM but this site had a lot to deal with it.
 
Clint, believe it or not, there are some guys that DON'T WANNA LEARN!
which REALLY blows my mind.

my 37 year old nephew, LOVES ribs, spares, baby backs, pulled pork,... you name it.
but he does not want to try it OR wait for it.

i heard he does have a grill, if it's a Weber (i doubt it), i heard he used it once for (get this) hot dogs.
fine, hot dogs are good, but that's not the point.
the thing is: he was afraid to put "real meat" on it in case it burned.

yes, he and his (ahem) wife eat out (very) often.
 
All you can do is make it look easy and have a good time - luckily those two of your best qualities :)
 
To some it is more the destination then the journey. If it weren't so, all these BBQ restaurants and steak houses around my house wouldn't stay packed every night!
Tim
 
What I like is when we go to a church get together in early summer and have a bring your own dish, and then we do some fried chicken and start up a couple BBQs. This what gets there are a few real good cookers that will jump in on the coal service, but there are the same ones every yer that stand by and watch and ask questions. how do you know when it is hot enough to cook?, how do you know when it is done or fully cooked? aren't afraid of starting a fire in your yard ?
We myself and the others try to explain to how too's but this last year Jay did the best move he put the tools in the persons hands and told him what to do, and soon others wanted to try.

This year should be alot better, i have also been told of how many have purchased kettles of there own, Wal Mart has a clearance on 22 Golds at 75.00 and i mentioned it to someone at church and he and some others beat feet there after church to pick up one.
I guess i should have been in sales......
 
I was searching for something else & remembered this thread - a couple days later, I went to my cousin's house & he was one of the people I was talking about in the thread - I was happy to see grilled chicken & steak on their table (4 kids). I even had a little
 
This is the first time I've read this thread and found it quite enlightening. Personally, I resolved to master grilling in order to atone for all of the burgers, hot dogs and chicken parts that my father cooked to the point that you'd need a DNA test to identify what they were. Seriously, I loved my dad (he passed away about 7 years ago), and he could broil a mean trout (in the oven), but I don't remember anything edible ever coming off the grill.
 
I too, am glad this thread got bumped! One of my next door neighbor's bought an ECB shortly after moving in. He rarely used it, mostly for burgers and BSCBs. One funny note. He had it too close to his house and partially melted his siding! Luckily, no damage was done other than that. But he learned his lesson.
Several years later, I was surprised to see him putting together a Weber Spirit! I complemented him on it and oohed and ahhed over it. Not that it did much good. It still stayed covered up most days. :(
Last year, he and his girlfriend bought a house together. His renter bought a cheap Walmart smoky joe. I complemented her on her purchase and implored her to buy a chimney. When she asked what it was, I showed her mine and told her how much better it was. She said she'd ask her dad.
The next weekend, her mom and dad came over. Sure enough, there was the pyramid and lighter fluid. :rolleyes: I showed her dad my chimney, but he didn't seem impressed. I guess sometimes you can't teach an old dog new tricks.
 
Factor in the fact that many of our dad's don't bother to teach us anything at all. We have to teach ourselves what we want to learn. My dad was a teacher (wood shop and drafting) and also one of the best cabinet makers around. Would never help me or teach me with anything. Sad but true. Sites like this many times take the place of those who choose not to help their kids. I have tried to teach my daughters many of the things they should know but they didn't want to learn. They will call dad to do many things. I am very thankful to Chris and all the great people on this site who have helped me over the last 3 years. Thanks All!!!
 
No sons - but taught 2 daughters how to grill. Also required them to learn how to change a tire (made them actually do it), read maps, and kick guys in the groin if it was necessary.
Ray
 
Bob Ivey said:
Factor in the fact that many of our dad's don't bother to teach us anything at all. We have to teach ourselves what we want to learn. My dad was a teacher (wood shop and drafting) and also one of the best cabinet makers around. Would never help me or teach me with anything. Sad but true. Sites like this many times take the place of those who choose not to help their kids. I have tried to teach my daughters many of the things they should know but they didn't want to learn. They will call dad to do many things. I am very thankful to Chris and all the great people on this site who have helped me over the last 3 years. Thanks All!!!
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Now that's a damn shame Bob. I'm sure your Dad has his reasons but I don't agree. Today our Son Brandon needed a hand doing some concrete patching for our neighbor. Brandon is a hell of an Electrician but never did much if any concrete work. I went along and showed him how to prep the surface and use my trowels and edger to do a good job. Neighbor was impressed and said your Dad knows a little of everything, and I said yea but this is the way my Dad and Grandpa taught me, and hopefully it runs full circle down to my Son.

Tim
 
timothy said:
Now that's a damn shame Bob. I'm sure your Dad has his reasons but I don't agree. Today our Son Brandon needed a hand doing some concrete patching for our neighbor. Brandon is a hell of an Electrician but never did much if any concrete work. I went along and showed him how to prep the surface and use my trowels and edger to do a good job. Neighbor was impressed and said your Dad knows a little of everything, and I said yea but this is the way my Dad and Grandpa taught me, and hopefully it runs full circle down to my Son.

Tim
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I agree with Tim that is really too bad. I learned most everything I know from my Dad. He is the one that taught me the value of cooking over live fire through his passion for doing it. As kids growing up we always got to pick what we wanted for dinner on our birthdays. On my 12th birthday I requested fried chicken. My Pops fired up his ECB square grill from Sears and fried chicken on a cast iron skillet. I was blown away. I remember being in awe that day forward of the types of meals my dad could cook on this trusty grill. He started to teach me his tricks and I got the bug myself.

I have kids of my own now and every chance I get I teach them the skills I have on a grill. A few years ago I was given an 18" brownie and that hammered to say the least. My son wanted to help fix it up and learn to cook on his own. He indeed helped fix it. The grill is his and he loves trying new things on it. Here is his first cook...chicken nuggets ;)
 
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Great necro-post! I've enjoyed reading all of your comments.
Like alot of you guys, my dad did the grilling but never taught me how to do it. Which is probably a good thing - I remember hand formed over done hamburger patties with jagged crunchy edges. Yuk. He cooked steak every once in awhile, but us kids always got the "London broil" or some other piece of shoe leather to gnaw/choke on. I have vague memories of him grilling with charcoal & "real" lighter fluid - fluid that didn't need to "soak in" & created 5 foot flames. (Anyone remember Eddie Murphy's stand up "the cookout"?!?) But for the most part my dad used a gasser. And a spray bottle to keep the flames down... This confounds me to this day. What a huge p.i.t.a.!
In my late teens & early 20's I'd have parties or goto parties & my friends & I would attempt bbq'ing burgers. NONE of us had a clue! Someone would wind up singed, missing hair or eyebrows trying to light up a gasser - WOOOOOOF! Inevitably, guys would come over & pour beer all over the bbq & patties - that we were "cooking" in the dark. No one knew when they were done. Its a wonder nobody got sick...
I met my better half in the early 90's & her uncle knew how to grill beef ribs (Cue the heavenly music!). He was the man! And he taught me how. Starting with boiling them. And, to my uneducated palette, they were incredible.
Once swmbo & I moved out, I bought a Smokey Joe. And I literally wore that bbq out, learning to cook burgers (with well manicured edges!) beef ribs, Steaks & the occasional hotdogs.
In the mid 2000's, my parents gave me a Weber kettle. Now I had room to cook baby backs! Badly. Swmbo would come home from work, ask what's for dinner. "Baby backs". She would just groan.
Then I stumbled onto this website & that other meathead site & really learned the art of bbq.
To this day, none of my friends know how to bbq - most of them don't own one. One friend has one of those half gasser, half coal jobs. And I've watched him shrink patties into tiny burnt pucks, all the while squishing em dry with a spatula. Which leads me to the question for those of you who have taken over bbq'ing at a friend's house: How did you do it?? Because rule #1: NEVER touch another man's bbq!
One of my friends is interested in grilling. I had him over recently & showed him how to grill a rib eye. He said it was better than steaks he's had at restaurants. Now he's looking for a bbq!
Your stories have inspired me. My niece is 14 & her putz (I am being EXTREMELY kind when I say putz) of a dad is no longer in her life. Maybe it's time to teach her?
 
When I have felt the need to intervene, I'm not often subtle. But on the rare occasion when tact prevails I will say something like " Could you maybe find me a fresh cocktail? I will cover the grill for you." But, that is rare for me, I am far more prone to "No, No, NO! You're ruining that, get out of the way!" I was the "grill director" for a four kettle, hundred forty person party a few years ago that was the last time I will do that for someone else. Teaching when you don't have backup grilling stock to some people who don't get how a Weber is supposed to work is frustrating.
Had a nice feast for my wife's sons birthday but somehow, I managed to get everyone's dinner dead on but mine! Oh well, a ribeye is pretty darned good even when it a bit overdone. The massive 2 1/2 inch I made for the birthday boy was as close to perfect as I have ever done. That was the important one!
 
This thread literally made me laugh out loud. So many good comments...including Lew's original post from 5 years ago. Some of these posts were hilarious, and it was fun to read through them. I'm sure most of us who have ever cooked anything have learned as we went, and messed up a lot. And, grilling or smoking meat, just like anything else, it takes a willingness to try...and you must learn from your mistakes. I know I sure have.

I'm an old (literally) country boy, who has been grilling meat for about 45 years, and smoking meat for about 35 years. I've gone through just about every kind of smoker ever made for under $1500. Never could afford those monster, expensive smokers...but have always done a pretty good job on whatever smoker I might've been playing with at the time. I've grilled on Weber kettles since the 70's. Then, in the 80's I bought the first version of the propane Genesis. I thought that was the best thing ever, not having to worry about charcoal again. And, those original Genesis series were amazing little grills, totally changing the way I grilled. And, then about every 8-10 years I'd replace my Genesis with a new one. However, I always kept an old 22" Weber kettle around...as sometimes I just wanted the taste of charcoal on some meat...to heck with convenience. The last Genesis I bought was a 330, with the burner on the side, about 5 years ago. At that same time, I also bought a new medium-priced smoker...a good stick burner that really smoked some great meat. I also kept a 22" Weber kettle around, as always.

Now, fast forward to last year. I bought, in my opinion, the best grill ever made...a Weber 26" Kettle. This bad boy is amazing, and will basically cook anything. I've even smoked on it a few times, and it was just as easy to keep it low and slow for a short smoke, as it is to burn it hot for searing a steak. And, I love the size of that grill, which allows me to always put my charcoal on one side, no matter what I'm cooking...so, I always have a cool side when I need it. Then, this year, I bought a 22.5" Weber Smokey Mountain. Oh my gosh!!! Why in the world did I not do this years ago? It is, without a doubt, the best smoker I've ever owned. I've never owned a smoker that would allow me to put on a brisket or pork butt for a 12-14 hour smoke at night, and then go to bed and not worry about it all night. But, this WSM will allow me to do just that.

So, for several months, my patio had a large heavy offset smoker, a large Weber Genesis, a 22" Weber Kettle, a 26" Weber Kettle, and a 22.5" Weber Smokey Mountain. However, the only two I found myself ever using was the 26" kettle and the WSM. So, I ran an ad on Craig's List for the offset smoker, the Genesis, and the 22" kettle. Sold them all to the same guy that weekend. Now, I have plenty of room on the patio. And, for $700 I have the best grill and smoker combo I've ever owned, for less money than the Genesis or a BGE. There's absolutely nothing I can't cook on one or the other. And, there's a lot of times where I'll have something smoking on the WSM, and something else grilling on the 26" kettle.

This pic shows the old offset smoker in the background...but it is no longer taking up that space. The 26" kettle and the WSM make a helluva team. And, as I taught my son to cook on just about anything, I plan on teaching all my grandkids how to cook on these two magnificent pieces of backyard meat preparation equipment. :wsm:

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And, I never realized how small the 22" kettle was until I placed side-by-side with the 26". ;)

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my father taught me the basics on grilling. he only cooked chicken parts, steak, burgers and dogs. of course he never had a weber either.
 
Brian_D said:
Which leads me to the question for those of you who have taken over bbq'ing at a friend's house: How did you do it?? Because rule #1: NEVER touch another man's bbq!
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Whenever we go to an event, I gravitate to wherever food is being prepared. I hate standing around making small talk, so I just find where stuff is being done and offer to help. If that means manning the grill, then that's where I'll be. Most of our friends know this about me and have had enough properly-grilled food at our house that they trust me.

Funny/heartwarming anecdote on this: my wife's best friend's husband was diagnosed with brain cancer about 6 years ago. He loved grilled food and whenever we went to their place for a party or whatever, he'd ask me to help with the grilling. The first time this happened, we worked side-by-side; he on the hot dogs, me on the burgers. After a couple more get-togethers, he'd lost the use of one arm and couldn't stand very long, so our invites started being addressed to "Grillmaster and Family". Before he passed away (almost three years ago), he asked me to be the official griller for any get-togethers his family had. It's kind of hard to say no to that.

Now, on the opposite end of the spectrum is my Father-in-law. He's not a bad griller, per se, but he doesn't understand that not everyone likes everything well-done. We've reached a sort of agreement, though. His only condition when eating grilled food at our house is that I show him (with an instant-read thermometer) that the food he's going to eat is at a safe temperature and I don't complain when he burns things beyond recognition.
 
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