The Humor Thread


 
As I left the hardware store the other day, I was fumbling for my car keys and could not find them.
They weren't in my pockets.
Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car.
Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My wife has scolded me many times for leaving my keys in the car's ignition.
She's afraid that the car could be stolen. As I looked around the parking lot, I realized she was right.
The parking lot was empty. I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car and that it had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all to my wife:
"I left my keys in the car and it's been stolen.
"There was a moment of silence.
I thought the call had been disconnected, but then I heard her voice. "Are you kidding me?" she barked,
"I dropped you off!"
Now it was my turn to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me then".
"She retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this cop that I didn't steal your d@#n car!"

"Welcome to the Golden Years"

MY DOCTOR ASKED IF ANYONE IN MY FAMILY WAS SUFFERING FROM MENTAL ILLNESS.

I SAID; "NO, WE ALL SEEM TO ENJOY IT".
 
Oh, good god...... yeah, I get (and appreciate) the punchline, but things like that just make me twitch.
 
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