Papa D Bryan
TVWBB Member
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The Humor Thread
- Thread starter Clint
- Start date
We've got some new members posting in this thread, so just a friendly reminder. I'm running a G-rated forum...please refrain from posting anything of a sexual nature, anything that implies violence even if intended in a humorous way, or anything containing profanity (even when embedded in a meme). Not only does it run counter to my G-rated intentions, but the sexual and violence stuff gets me flagged by Google and they restrict ads on my pages, which deprives me of the revenue I depend on to run this site.
Thanks for your understanding.
Thanks for your understanding.
Erik Tracy
TVWBB Pro
A man has been out fishing by the lake all day but hasn't caught anything. He decides to just give up and call it a day, but on his way he notices an old man fishing but a few feet away from him. The man immediately notices the other fisherman has several buckets full of fish, then witnesses him reeling in yet another one.
“Excuse me, sir”, the man says, “I’ve never been able to catch much of anything around here. I’ve got to ask, what’s your secret?”
The old man pauses for a moment, then mumbles “hmmm mmmph mmm mmph mmm hmm mmmph”.
“I’m sorry, could you say that again?”
The man repeats, a little louder this time, “hmmm mmmph mmm mmph mmm hmm mmmph!”
“I-I still didn’t quite get that, sorry”
Finally, the old man picks up a plastic cup, spits a mouthful of live worms into it, and yells “Ya gotta keep your worms warm!”.
“Excuse me, sir”, the man says, “I’ve never been able to catch much of anything around here. I’ve got to ask, what’s your secret?”
The old man pauses for a moment, then mumbles “hmmm mmmph mmm mmph mmm hmm mmmph”.
“I’m sorry, could you say that again?”
The man repeats, a little louder this time, “hmmm mmmph mmm mmph mmm hmm mmmph!”
“I-I still didn’t quite get that, sorry”
Finally, the old man picks up a plastic cup, spits a mouthful of live worms into it, and yells “Ya gotta keep your worms warm!”.
cd: I was doing an overnight at a hotel away from home. I took my computer down to the bar to do some data entries. I sat down at the bar and I asked the bartender ‘What’s the w ifi password?’
Bartender: 'You need to buy a drink first.'
cd: 'Okay, I’ll have a beer.'
Bartender: 'We have Molson’s Canadian on tap.'
cd: 'Sure. How much is that?'
Bartender: '$8.00.'
cd: 'Here you are. OK now, what’s the wifi password?'
Bartender: "youneedtobuyadrinkfirst"; No spaces and all lowercase.'
Bartender: 'You need to buy a drink first.'
cd: 'Okay, I’ll have a beer.'
Bartender: 'We have Molson’s Canadian on tap.'
cd: 'Sure. How much is that?'
Bartender: '$8.00.'
cd: 'Here you are. OK now, what’s the wifi password?'
Bartender: "youneedtobuyadrinkfirst"; No spaces and all lowercase.'
Rusty James
TVWBB Emerald Member
Tim Campbell
TVWBB Emerald Member
What do you call an angry pig?
Disgruntled.
Disgruntled.
Tim Campbell
TVWBB Emerald Member
My friend told me he threw a stick two miles and his dog still retrieved it
But I dunno...seems a bit far-fetched to me.
But I dunno...seems a bit far-fetched to me.
Tim Campbell
TVWBB Emerald Member
Two ice cubes are hanging out in the freezer. One looks at the other and says, "Hey. What's good?"
The other cube replies, "Nuthin. Just chillin."
The other cube replies, "Nuthin. Just chillin."
Tim Campbell
TVWBB Emerald Member
What dog breed can jump higher than a building?
All of them. Buildings can't jump.
All of them. Buildings can't jump.
Tim Campbell
TVWBB Emerald Member
Any Mitch Hedberg fans out there?
"I went to see my doctor the other day and he bit my neck. DO NOT go to Dr. Acula!"
"I went to see my doctor the other day and he bit my neck. DO NOT go to Dr. Acula!"
Tim Campbell
TVWBB Emerald Member
I need to apologize for these truly terrible dad jokes.
Mark Silver
TVWBB Wizard
