The Humor Thread
- Thread starter Clint
- Start date
Phil Perrin
TVWBB Hall of Fame
Erik Tracy
TVWBB Pro
Creative - I'll give it that
Brad Olson
TVWBB Diamond Member
Erik, how did you get into Jeff Foxworthy's back yard?
Frank in Colorado
TVWBB Super Fan
Mark Foreman
TVWBB Wizard
Phil Perrin
TVWBB Hall of Fame
I’m selling my camo fishing gear. Serious inquiries only 
Phil Perrin
TVWBB Hall of Fame
Is that what happens when you eat the super nuclear wings?
Mark Foreman
TVWBB Wizard
Yep ... been there, done that 
Erik Tracy
TVWBB Pro
Xmas Dinner 2020
Frank in Colorado
TVWBB Super Fan
Husband and Wife are Christmas shopping at a busy indoor/outdoor shopping mall .
The wife was becoming increasingly annoyed, because they had already putzed away half the day, and now she had lost track of her husband, and they still had much shopping to do and several errands to run.
She called him on his cell.
The wife said " Where are you, you know we have lots to do."
He said "You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would come back and get it for you?"
The wife, her mood shifting 180 degrees almost instantly, a little tear starting to run down her cheek...
"Yes, yes I do. I remember it vividly!"
"Well, I'm in the bar that's right next door to it."
The wife was becoming increasingly annoyed, because they had already putzed away half the day, and now she had lost track of her husband, and they still had much shopping to do and several errands to run.
She called him on his cell.
The wife said " Where are you, you know we have lots to do."
He said "You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would come back and get it for you?"
The wife, her mood shifting 180 degrees almost instantly, a little tear starting to run down her cheek...
"Yes, yes I do. I remember it vividly!"
"Well, I'm in the bar that's right next door to it."
Phil Perrin
TVWBB Hall of Fame
Rich Dahl
TVWBB 1-Star Olympian
1. The dumbest thing I ever bought was a 2020 planner.
2. I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone. He asked me what I was wearing.
3. 2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people.
4. The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house & their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!
5. This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her dog. It was obvious she thought her dog understood her. I came into my house & told my cat. We laughed a lot.
6. Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
7. Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands?
8. This virus has done what no woman has been able to do. Cancel sports, shut down all bars & keep men at home!
9. I never thought the comment, “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!
10. I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.
11. I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to the Backyard. I’m getting tired of the Living Room.
12. Appropriate analogy. "The curve is flattening so we can start lifting restrictions now” is like saying “The parachute has slowed our rate of descent, so we can take it off now.”
13. And my personal favorite ----Never in a million years could I have imagined I would go up to a bank teller wearing a mask & ask for money.
2. I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone. He asked me what I was wearing.
3. 2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people.
4. The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house & their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!
5. This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her dog. It was obvious she thought her dog understood her. I came into my house & told my cat. We laughed a lot.
6. Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
7. Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands?
8. This virus has done what no woman has been able to do. Cancel sports, shut down all bars & keep men at home!
9. I never thought the comment, “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!
10. I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.
11. I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to the Backyard. I’m getting tired of the Living Room.
12. Appropriate analogy. "The curve is flattening so we can start lifting restrictions now” is like saying “The parachute has slowed our rate of descent, so we can take it off now.”
13. And my personal favorite ----Never in a million years could I have imagined I would go up to a bank teller wearing a mask & ask for money.
Frank in Colorado
TVWBB Super Fan
Give this to Santa with the cookies and you'll definitely get coal fer sure:
