The Humor Thread
- Thread starter Clint
- Start date
Darren Lebner
TVWBB All-Star
THyde
TVWBB Guru
Who drinks it? The passenger or the driver?
OBLIGATORY: I am not endorsing driving while intoxicated. I am just making a joke. If you find jokes offensive, please order the Large bottle.
LMichaels
TVWBB 1-Star Olympian
Looks more like Italian ladies
Phil Perrin
TVWBB Hall of Fame
Tim Campbell
TVWBB Guru
This is a long one.
Two boys, Frank and Joe, grow up together playing baseball their whole lives. They become fanatical about pitching and they gradually advance from PeeWee to Little League to Babe Ruth League to Pony League. They both go on to play D1 college ball, and they both get signed to major league contracts, where they both have lengthy, successful careers. Frank and Joe both retire, become coaches, and eventually broadcasters. In short, baseball is their lives.
As they start to enter their golden age, they move into the same assisted living center together as roommates. One night, Frank asks, "Joe, do you think there's baseball in heaven?"
Joe replies, "Probably. But let's make a deal. Whoever dies first has to come back to let the other one know." Frank agrees. Sadly, two days later, Joe passes in his sleep, comfortably ensconced in his MLB sheets and pjs.
That very night, Joe returns from heaven with news. " Frank!" he says, sitting on his friend's bedside. "Wake up!"
Groggily, Frank wakes. Upon seeing his life-long friend, he cries, "Joe!! How wonderful to see you. I'm glad you're here. Have you found the answer to our question?"
Joe takes a moment, composes his ethereal self, and finally sighs and says, "Frank, I've got good news and bad news. Which first?"
Frank replies, "Tell me the good news first, Joe."
"Okay. Here's the good news. Frank, there is definitely baseball in heaven!!! All the greats are there: DiMaggio, Williams, Ruth, Gerhig, Tinkers-to-Evers-to-Chance, Walter Jonson, Clemente, Jackie...I mean, they're all there!! And they ball-out every, single day on perfect fields. Frank, the temperature is never higher than 73°, never lower than 60°. The diamond defines perfection. Perfect grass height, perfect soil, perfect sunlight. Every single game is the very definition of the game. It's honestly the greatest game ever played, every single time, on the most perfect field you can imagine."
Frank takes this in, beeming. After a moment, he looks at Joe's ghost and says, "Joe, that's great news. Thank you. But what could possibly be the bad news? Did Ty Cobb make it to heaven?? What's the bad?"
With heart, Joe replies, "Frank, old friend, you're pitching tomorrow night."
Two boys, Frank and Joe, grow up together playing baseball their whole lives. They become fanatical about pitching and they gradually advance from PeeWee to Little League to Babe Ruth League to Pony League. They both go on to play D1 college ball, and they both get signed to major league contracts, where they both have lengthy, successful careers. Frank and Joe both retire, become coaches, and eventually broadcasters. In short, baseball is their lives.
As they start to enter their golden age, they move into the same assisted living center together as roommates. One night, Frank asks, "Joe, do you think there's baseball in heaven?"
Joe replies, "Probably. But let's make a deal. Whoever dies first has to come back to let the other one know." Frank agrees. Sadly, two days later, Joe passes in his sleep, comfortably ensconced in his MLB sheets and pjs.
That very night, Joe returns from heaven with news. " Frank!" he says, sitting on his friend's bedside. "Wake up!"
Groggily, Frank wakes. Upon seeing his life-long friend, he cries, "Joe!! How wonderful to see you. I'm glad you're here. Have you found the answer to our question?"
Joe takes a moment, composes his ethereal self, and finally sighs and says, "Frank, I've got good news and bad news. Which first?"
Frank replies, "Tell me the good news first, Joe."
"Okay. Here's the good news. Frank, there is definitely baseball in heaven!!! All the greats are there: DiMaggio, Williams, Ruth, Gerhig, Tinkers-to-Evers-to-Chance, Walter Jonson, Clemente, Jackie...I mean, they're all there!! And they ball-out every, single day on perfect fields. Frank, the temperature is never higher than 73°, never lower than 60°. The diamond defines perfection. Perfect grass height, perfect soil, perfect sunlight. Every single game is the very definition of the game. It's honestly the greatest game ever played, every single time, on the most perfect field you can imagine."
Frank takes this in, beeming. After a moment, he looks at Joe's ghost and says, "Joe, that's great news. Thank you. But what could possibly be the bad news? Did Ty Cobb make it to heaven?? What's the bad?"
With heart, Joe replies, "Frank, old friend, you're pitching tomorrow night."
John F Ford
TVWBB Fan
I am going to steal this. thanks for posting
Daryl S
TVWBB Super Fan
Phil Perrin
TVWBB Hall of Fame
