The Humor Thread


 
It's Marty's birthday. It's his 60th birthday in fact. Marty wakes up, takes a shower and gets ready for work. He makes coffee, his wife comes down and has a coffee. Not a word about poor Marty's birthday. Marty figures, OK she forgot. He goes in to work. Walks past the front desk, nothing. goes past his teammates, and nobody says more than "good morning". OK, he figures, everybody forgot. Lunchtime comes around, and Marty goes to the cafeteria to eat. He sits at a table with Mary, who is an incredibly attractive, 25 year old who all the guys in the ofice drool over. Marty and Mary are talking, and Mary mentions "it's such a nice day out, want to go for a walk?" Marty agrees, and they go for a walk in the city. They go a few blocks, and Mary says, "hold on a second, I need to grab something" and goes into a liquor store. She comes out with a brown bagged bottle of whatever it was she got, and smiles at Marty. "Mind if we step up to my apartment real quick so I can put this away?" Marty agrees, and Mary lets him into her apartment. She's smiling a lot. After she puts the bottle away, she looks him in the eyes, and says, "can you wait here a minute? I have to go into the bedroom." Well, Marty is beyond excited, almost forgetting entirely that it's his birthday. He hears her rustling around in there, and boy does Marty think this is one heck of a left turn this day has taken!

Out comes Mary, holding a birthday cake, followed by Marty's wife, children and several co-workers. So why was Marty the one who said "Surprise"?

Because there sat Marty on Mary's couch, naked as the day he was born!
 
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: ‘What the hell was that all about?’
 
Funny in it's own way -- I'm slowly reading my way through this thread and having a truly enjoyable time. Best part is sharing some of the best with my wife (we have big differences in sense of humor). Thanks Clint, and belated thanks to Bob Correll for his many contributions (RIP). And to all you others who contributed.
 
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