The Humor Thread


 
By the time you finish reading the following conversation, you will understand the meaning of Ten Jew Berry Mud. Conversation between room-service and a guest at a hotel in Asia

( try reading it out loud to yourself )

Hotel: Morny, ruin sorbees.
Guest: Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.
Hotel: Rye! Ruin sorbees ... morny! Jewish to odor sunteen??
Guest: Uh ... yes ... I'd like some bacon and eggs.
Hotel: Ow July den?
Guest: What??
Hotel: Ow July den ... pry, boy, pooch?
Guest: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.
Hotel: Ow July dee baychem ... crease?
Guest: Crisp will be fine.
Hotel: Hokay. An San tos?
Guest: What?
Hotel: San tos. July San tos?
Guest: I don't think so.
Hotel: No? Judo one toes?
Guest: I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo onetoes' means.
Hotel: Toes! Toes! ... Why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlishmopping we bother?
Guest: English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine.Yes, an English muffin will be fine.
Hotel: We bother?
Guest: No, just put the bother on the side.
Hotel: Wad?
Guest: I mean butter ... just put it on the side.
Hotel: Copy?
Guest: Sorry?
Hotel: Copy ... tea ... mill?
Guest: Yes. Coffee please, and that's all.
Hotel: One Minnie. Azz strangle ache, creasebaychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy... rye?
Guest: Whatever you say.
Hotel: Ten jew berry mud.
Guest: You're welcome.
 
I know you have been lying awake at night wondering why baby diapers have brand names such as "Luvs", "Huggies", and "Pampers', while undergarments for old people are called "Depends".
Well here is the low down on the whole thing.
When babies crap in their pants, people are still gonna Luv'em, Hug'em and Pamper' em. When old people crap in their pants, it "Depends" on who's in the will!
Glad I got that straightened out so you can rest your mind.
 
DanHoo said:
By the time you finish reading the following conversation, you will understand the meaning of Ten Jew Berry Mud. Conversation between room-service and a guest at a hotel in Asia

( try reading it out loud to yourself )

Hotel: Morny, ruin sorbees.
Guest: Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.
Hotel: Rye! Ruin sorbees ... morny! Jewish to odor sunteen??
Guest: Uh ... yes ... I'd like some bacon and eggs.
Hotel: Ow July den?
Guest: What??
Hotel: Ow July den ... pry, boy, pooch?
Guest: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.
Hotel: Ow July dee baychem ... crease?
Guest: Crisp will be fine.
Hotel: Hokay. An San tos?
Guest: What?
Hotel: San tos. July San tos?
Guest: I don't think so.
Hotel: No? Judo one toes?
Guest: I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo onetoes' means.
Hotel: Toes! Toes! ... Why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlishmopping we bother?
Guest: English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine.Yes, an English muffin will be fine.
Hotel: We bother?
Guest: No, just put the bother on the side.
Hotel: Wad?
Guest: I mean butter ... just put it on the side.
Hotel: Copy?
Guest: Sorry?
Hotel: Copy ... tea ... mill?
Guest: Yes. Coffee please, and that's all.
Hotel: One Minnie. Azz strangle ache, creasebaychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy... rye?
Guest: Whatever you say.
Hotel: Ten jew berry mud.
Guest: You're welcome.
Click to expand...
Love it Dan. Reminds me of a visit to a Chinese restaurant my family frequented in SF from the time I was a kid. My dad worked with the owner, and we were acquainted with, we thought, the whole family. They all spoke perfect English and shared a great sense of humor. One night, my brothers and I went in after a few drinks. The only Maitre'd we knew wasn't there that night. In his place was a woman whose English was about what your post depicted. She advised us that there would be a "wong late" and asked for a name. I told her Yanopopodopolis and we went into the bar. After having a drink and shooting the bull with the owner, we heard her trying to pronounce the name in every possible way you can imagine. As I said goodbye to the owner, he laughed his A$$ off and told me he didn't understand why his daughter insisted on being so Chinese.
 
here's another that went around some time ago. Also works well if you read it out loud.

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
 
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