The Humor Thread


 
Look what the government says. According to them, we only have two seasons.

Southeast Florida is characterized by two predominant seasons-- summer and winter. The summer season is characterized by warm, humid conditions with frequent showers and thunderstorms. The winter season has cooler temperatures, lower humidities and less frequent precipitation. The two missing seasons-- autumn and spring-- are included in the winter season because these two transition periods are drier and cooler than the summer season. Each year the starting and ending of the summer season is a topic of interest in southeast Florida. The rains which help to signal the beginning of the summer season and put an end to the late winter dryness, and the all-too-frequent water-use restrictions, are always welcomed. Then when the day-after-day high temperatures and humidities of the summer have lasted for what seems to be an eternity, the first period of lower humidities and slightly cooler temperatures are greatly anticipated by all. To my knowledge, no one has ever investigated the climatological records to determine the beginning and ending dates of this important annual climatological event.
 
Joan said:
Thanks Frank, I am a little nervous about it. Thank goodness both tanks are filled. And we have a small generator if we loose power. Enough for the fridge at least. The big one for the house isn't ready yet. And to make things worse, DH has to run the cat to the vet. Hasn't eaten anything in 2 days. What next?
Click to expand...
More on cat on another Conversation thread.
 
A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "your first job will be to sweep out the store."
"But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom, I'll show you how."
 
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Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.
 
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