The Humor Thread


 

Bob Correll

TVWBB 1-Star Olympian
fe6d7cc4f4fbeef18c095ad5fc0833a0939c3301ecb95e2f8324cd7dbae08733_1.jpg
 

C Lewis

TVWBB Super Fan
Back when I had an Alexa, I was looking at my Amazon wish lists, and noticed an Alexa wish list that I hadn't created. I played the recording, and an voice was requesting Alexa to order extra large condoms, various sex toys, and a pack of Depends undergarments. Since I had ordering turned off, it only created a wish list. It was created on the time and date of our annual Christmas party, and I immediately put the blame on the young kids that had been playing by themselves in the basement, next to one of the Alexas. I had forgotten all about it, until a good year or more later, a good friend of mine confessed to the prank. I was shocked, as I was more worried that I was going to offend him just talking about the items, given his personality (or so I thought). I'm no prude, and although I would have probably thought it more funny when I was twelve, he was the last person that I thought would do something that. He apologized, and I told him that while I was a bit put off by the Depends, I was very flattered by the extra large condoms.
 

Joan

TVWBB Emerald Member
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the winners.

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an *******.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafhalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The colour you turn when you discover half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
 

 

Top