The Humor Thread
- Thread starter Clint
- Start date
Phil Perrin
TVWBB Hall of Fame
Pretty sure I still owe for some albums from the 70’!
Thank you god for statute of limitations!
Rusty James
TVWBB Emerald Member
Phil Perrin
TVWBB Hall of Fame
Timothy F. Lewis
TVWBB 1-Star Olympian
Good one Rusty, good one Phil!
Wife’s son has a cat that needs pills! And the potty… well, I had to wipe my screen due to coffee explosion!
Wife’s son has a cat that needs pills! And the potty… well, I had to wipe my screen due to coffee explosion!
One of our furballs is on an inhaler for his asthma, is on a lysine syrup (a little dab on the end of my finger,) and has no problem taking pills. The little beast comes to me twice a day and just rumbles happily away on my lap for all of it. Yeah, I know.... he is rather atypical.
Timothy F. Lewis
TVWBB 1-Star Olympian
My cat has developed some sort of allergy and had rubbed/licked his rear leg and above his eye raw! Now, he gets no greenies which he loved OR churu treats! He’s on a low protein diet with a special food, thankfully, it appears to be helping. He is a real man’s cat, he will go to son in law, grandson or me first then it’s women! He is so funny!
Phil Perrin
TVWBB Hall of Fame
Tim Campbell
TVWBB Emerald Member
Long one here:
Two best friends, Sam and John, grow up absolutely loving the game of baseball. From little league onward, the two are completely fixated with the game.
As they age, they both continue their love of the game. Both play HS ball, then college ball, and as fortune has it, they both end up in the bigs. They remain best friends throughout their lives.
Life happened. They both get married, start families, and raise their children to love the game. After lengthy careers, they both retire. But their children, and eventually their grandchildren, continue the tradition. Baseball was the very fabric of their lives for generations.
They age. Their kids and grandkids grow up. Sam and John lose their wives. So they decide to move into the same retirement home, where they watch the game day after day.
One evening, Sam says to John, "Y'know, Johnny, I really hope there's baseball in the afterlife. Let's make a deal: Whoever passes away first comes back to let the other know the answer." John agrees instantly.
Sadly, the following Sunday Sam passes away. That night, he returns to visit his life-long friend to give him the news.
"John," he says. "Don't be scared. It's me, Sam. I've got some good news and some bad news.
John replies, "Well, give me the good news first, Sam."
Sam says, "Well, I can tell you with certainty that there is indeed baseball in heaven. 24-7. Day games, night games, matinee games. And the thing is, all the greats are there: Williams, DiMaggio, Ruth, Clemente, Jackie...I mean, they're all freaking there and the game is perfect. I get to play with them every day.
Tickets are free and no one gets a bad seat. It's actually heaven. Concessions are free, too, and you can eat all the hotdogs you want from any stadium ever made. The beer is outstanding and no one stops serving it in the 7th inning. The fans are polite, the umps fair, and the grass is always green. It's unbelievable."
John thinks for a moment and replies, "That is just fantastic, Sam. News to my ears. I'm so happy for you. You were always the better player. I could not be happier for you. But tell me, old friend, what could possibly be the bad news?"
Sam replies, "Buddy, you're pitching on Tuesday."
Two best friends, Sam and John, grow up absolutely loving the game of baseball. From little league onward, the two are completely fixated with the game.
As they age, they both continue their love of the game. Both play HS ball, then college ball, and as fortune has it, they both end up in the bigs. They remain best friends throughout their lives.
Life happened. They both get married, start families, and raise their children to love the game. After lengthy careers, they both retire. But their children, and eventually their grandchildren, continue the tradition. Baseball was the very fabric of their lives for generations.
They age. Their kids and grandkids grow up. Sam and John lose their wives. So they decide to move into the same retirement home, where they watch the game day after day.
One evening, Sam says to John, "Y'know, Johnny, I really hope there's baseball in the afterlife. Let's make a deal: Whoever passes away first comes back to let the other know the answer." John agrees instantly.
Sadly, the following Sunday Sam passes away. That night, he returns to visit his life-long friend to give him the news.
"John," he says. "Don't be scared. It's me, Sam. I've got some good news and some bad news.
John replies, "Well, give me the good news first, Sam."
Sam says, "Well, I can tell you with certainty that there is indeed baseball in heaven. 24-7. Day games, night games, matinee games. And the thing is, all the greats are there: Williams, DiMaggio, Ruth, Clemente, Jackie...I mean, they're all freaking there and the game is perfect. I get to play with them every day.
Tickets are free and no one gets a bad seat. It's actually heaven. Concessions are free, too, and you can eat all the hotdogs you want from any stadium ever made. The beer is outstanding and no one stops serving it in the 7th inning. The fans are polite, the umps fair, and the grass is always green. It's unbelievable."
John thinks for a moment and replies, "That is just fantastic, Sam. News to my ears. I'm so happy for you. You were always the better player. I could not be happier for you. But tell me, old friend, what could possibly be the bad news?"
Sam replies, "Buddy, you're pitching on Tuesday."
DanHoo
TVWBB Olympian
On top of the good news and bad news was worse news.
Sam continues, "... and your wife is the pitching coach".
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