Brad Olson
TVWBB Diamond Member
Too bad Mexico didn't win.
The Humor Thread
- Thread starter Clint
- Start date
Mark Silver
TVWBB Wizard
Scott Smith
TVWBB Pro
My mom used that exact pen to write patient charts in the hospital. Each shift had a different color. Pretty cool gizmo.
Bob Erdman
TVWBB Pro
Tim Campbell
TVWBB Guru
Lol! That's exactly the type of quality, good-charm that we've come to expect of "Cooter Brown's Rib Shack"
Tim Campbell
TVWBB Guru
Boom. That's the one.
JSaus
TVWBB All-Star
Italian Altar Boy Confession
Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"'Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say.".
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell.""Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers,
"What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads!"
Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"'Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say.".
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell.""Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers,
"What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads!"
Joe Anshien
TVWBB Platinum Member
Funny that's how they taught us at Elvin wood speed reading when I was a teen!
Joe Anshien
TVWBB Platinum Member
Bob Erdman
TVWBB Pro
Mark Silver
TVWBB Wizard
Bob Erdman
TVWBB Pro
D Livingston
TVWBB Fan
I do. I mean, I kind of have to as I'm mid-fifties and still love Halloween. I decorate the house and based on a different theme each year and sit outside in costume to give out the candy, so who am I to begrudge a teenager wanting to trick-or-treat.
Having said that, I also have a hierarchy of candy meaning what candy, and how much, a trick-or-treater gets is proportional to the quality of, originality of, and/or effort put into the costume. The kid with a home-made robot costume with a "computer disk slot" where the candy is inserted (an actual costume worn by a teenager a couple of years ago) gets a handful of Smarties, Blow Pops, Butterfingers, etc.
The teenager wearing jeans, a hoodie, and maybe carrying a mask, on the other hand, gets Sixlets.
Tim Campbell
TVWBB Guru
O
I want to Trick or Treat at your place
53, fwiw. I'm basically already a costume.
I want to Trick or Treat at your place
53, fwiw. I'm basically already a costume.
Tim Campbell
TVWBB Guru
Longer post...
Two best friends, Frank and Joe, both pitchers, grow up together loving baseball. From their youth, they'd always played, talked, lived and breathed the game. From Pee-Wee ball to the Pros, they grew together playing the game they loved with all their heart, soul, and passion. Miraculously, they both eventually became Hall of Fame pitchers.
They both retired from pro ball after having had glorious careers. And they always stayed best friends no matter the circumstances. Raised families, had kids (who also went on to play pro ball), laid-down roots. Always a true partnership. Semper Fidelis.
So they grew old, lost wives and other loved ones, and found themselves roommates in their glory years. But Frank and Joe made a pact: Whomever died first would return, as a ghost, and let the other know the answer to their age-old question: Is there baseball in heaven?
Sadly, Frank (conveniently) died in his sleep that very night. A true baseball partnership of Eighty years had come to its end. Joe mourned his lifelong friend for a solid week. Candlelight vigils, drunken binges, the full Monty: Joe went all-out, regretting nothing, for seven nights
That seventh night, after having slept-off the effects of his week-long bender, Joe was visited by his dear friend, Frank.
"FRANK!!" exclaimed Joe. "MY FRIEND! IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU!"
"And you, too, Joe. My oldest friend," replied Frank. " I've got some good news and some bad news."
"Oh?" replied Joe. "Okay. Lay it on me."
Frank laid it down. "Well, it's like this. Here's the good news: There most definitely is baseball in heaven. And nearly all of the greats are there: Mantle, Ruth, Williams, Foxx, Tris Speaker, Cy Young, Clemente, Robinson, DiMaggio, Aaron. Catfish, Berra, Munson....."
Joe laughed and interrupted, "That's amazing! I've waited my whole life to know this, Frank. This means everything to me. Even in death, you have helped me. But....tell me. What could possibly be the bad news?"
Without hesitating, Frank replied "You're pitching Tuesday night."
Two best friends, Frank and Joe, both pitchers, grow up together loving baseball. From their youth, they'd always played, talked, lived and breathed the game. From Pee-Wee ball to the Pros, they grew together playing the game they loved with all their heart, soul, and passion. Miraculously, they both eventually became Hall of Fame pitchers.
They both retired from pro ball after having had glorious careers. And they always stayed best friends no matter the circumstances. Raised families, had kids (who also went on to play pro ball), laid-down roots. Always a true partnership. Semper Fidelis.
So they grew old, lost wives and other loved ones, and found themselves roommates in their glory years. But Frank and Joe made a pact: Whomever died first would return, as a ghost, and let the other know the answer to their age-old question: Is there baseball in heaven?
Sadly, Frank (conveniently) died in his sleep that very night. A true baseball partnership of Eighty years had come to its end. Joe mourned his lifelong friend for a solid week. Candlelight vigils, drunken binges, the full Monty: Joe went all-out, regretting nothing, for seven nights
That seventh night, after having slept-off the effects of his week-long bender, Joe was visited by his dear friend, Frank.
"FRANK!!" exclaimed Joe. "MY FRIEND! IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU!"
"And you, too, Joe. My oldest friend," replied Frank. " I've got some good news and some bad news."
"Oh?" replied Joe. "Okay. Lay it on me."
Frank laid it down. "Well, it's like this. Here's the good news: There most definitely is baseball in heaven. And nearly all of the greats are there: Mantle, Ruth, Williams, Foxx, Tris Speaker, Cy Young, Clemente, Robinson, DiMaggio, Aaron. Catfish, Berra, Munson....."
Joe laughed and interrupted, "That's amazing! I've waited my whole life to know this, Frank. This means everything to me. Even in death, you have helped me. But....tell me. What could possibly be the bad news?"
Without hesitating, Frank replied "You're pitching Tuesday night."
JeffG
TVWBB Emerald Member
I Kant Esemble Anything....IKEA
