The Humor Thread


 
Loved Rodney and my other favorite one-liner is Steven Wright.

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.' He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.'

I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.

If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?
 
JSaus said:
Loved Rodney and my other favorite one-liner is Steven Wright.

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.' He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.'

I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.

If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?
Click to expand...
Steven Wright was a fav of mine on Carson in the 80's.

I was walking down the street the other night and the prescription on my eyeglasses ran out.
I took my dog for a walk around the world. When we got home I said "There your done".
I parked my car in a tow away zone. When I got back, my car was there, the zone was gone.
 
PHolder said:
Steven Wright was a fav of mine on Carson in the 80's.

I was walking down the street the other night and the prescription on my eyeglasses ran out.
I took my dog for a walk around the world. When we got home I said "There your done".
I parked my car in a tow away zone. When I got back, my car was there, the zone was gone.
Click to expand...
It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to paint it.
 
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