Tim Campbell
TVWBB Diamond Member
Classic!! That one got me.
The Humor Thread
- Thread starter Clint
- Start date
Tim Campbell
TVWBB Diamond Member
Peter, Jesus, and an old man are playing a round of golf
On the first hole, a par 4, Peter lets loose an impressive drive that splits the fairway and lands yards from the green. "Nice shot, Peter!" exclaim Jesus and the old man.
Next up, Jesus effortlessly unleashes a monster drive. Ball ends up feet from the hole. "Beautiful shot, J!" exclaim Peter and the old man. "You drove the green on a par 4!"
Finally, the old man takes his tee shot. His swing is unorthodox to say the least. He shanks it terribly. The ball careens towards the woods, and bounces from tree to tree without hitting the ground for several minutes.
At long last, the ball zooms from the trees heading directly for the water. Suddenly, a largemouth bass leaps into the air and swallows the ball whole. At that exact moment, a hawk swoops in from out of nowhere and catches the bass in its talons. Shocked, the fish spits out the ball which lands gently on the green and rolls directly into the cup.
"HOLE IN ONE!!" yells the old man, dancing with glee. "That ball never touched the ground until the green! You both saw it."
Jesus just looks at the old man, shakes his head, and says, "Nice shot, dad. But can we please quit messing around and just play some golf?!"
On the first hole, a par 4, Peter lets loose an impressive drive that splits the fairway and lands yards from the green. "Nice shot, Peter!" exclaim Jesus and the old man.
Next up, Jesus effortlessly unleashes a monster drive. Ball ends up feet from the hole. "Beautiful shot, J!" exclaim Peter and the old man. "You drove the green on a par 4!"
Finally, the old man takes his tee shot. His swing is unorthodox to say the least. He shanks it terribly. The ball careens towards the woods, and bounces from tree to tree without hitting the ground for several minutes.
At long last, the ball zooms from the trees heading directly for the water. Suddenly, a largemouth bass leaps into the air and swallows the ball whole. At that exact moment, a hawk swoops in from out of nowhere and catches the bass in its talons. Shocked, the fish spits out the ball which lands gently on the green and rolls directly into the cup.
"HOLE IN ONE!!" yells the old man, dancing with glee. "That ball never touched the ground until the green! You both saw it."
Jesus just looks at the old man, shakes his head, and says, "Nice shot, dad. But can we please quit messing around and just play some golf?!"
Phil Perrin
TVWBB Hall of Fame
Found Satan......
Brad Olson
TVWBB Platinum Member
I went to HD's website and it's listed as being on backorder.
Brad Olson
TVWBB Platinum Member
But do you like Chinese food?one more reason to dislike cats
LMichaels
TVWBB 2-Star Olympian
We no see your cat, try our ChowMein it purrrfect
<chuckle> An old friend of mine used to live in the Green Bay area, and a Chinese restaurant opened up. All of the strays in the area seemed to disappear....... and then the restaurant was closed, apparently by the health department. And the stray population returned. No, I'm not kidding.We no see your cat, try our ChowMein it purrrfect
Papa D Bryan
TVWBB Member
Waking up to global palindrome day!
5-20-25
5-20-25
timothy
TVWBB 1-Star Olympian
Say that backwards.
Phil Perrin
TVWBB Hall of Fame
I had to repair mine
It needed a new rear end!
Phil Perrin
TVWBB Hall of Fame
LMichaels
TVWBB 2-Star Olympian
This one had me LOL
It reminds me of the 60-year-old Onslow county boy who went to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells him, “You’re in terrific shape. There’s nothing wrong with you. Why, you might live forever, you have the body of a 35 year old. By the way, how old was your father when he died?”
The 60-year old responded, “Did I say he was dead?”
The doctor was surprised and asked, “How old is he and is he very active?”
The patient responded, “Well, he is 82 years old and he still hunts all season, cuts his own wood and runs a little 40 acre tobacco farm just to keep in shape.”
The doctor couldn’t believe it. So he said, “Well, how old was your grandfather when he died?”
The 60-year-old responded again, “Did I say he was dead?”
The doctor was astonished. He said, “You mean to tell me you are 60 years old and both your father and your grandfather are both alive? Is your grandfather very active?”
The patient replied, “Well he’s sort of retired but he has a trot line he runs every morning. He’s a dead shot with a rifle and fills his deer tag every year. He runs a few **** dogs for sport and he can still carry his liquor with the best of them. Not only that,” he added, “my grandfather is 106 years old, and next week he is getting married again.”
The doctor said, “At 106 years, why on earth did your grandfather want to get married?”
His patient looked up at the doctor and said, “Did I say he wanted to?”
It reminds me of the 60-year-old Onslow county boy who went to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells him, “You’re in terrific shape. There’s nothing wrong with you. Why, you might live forever, you have the body of a 35 year old. By the way, how old was your father when he died?”
The 60-year old responded, “Did I say he was dead?”
The doctor was surprised and asked, “How old is he and is he very active?”
The patient responded, “Well, he is 82 years old and he still hunts all season, cuts his own wood and runs a little 40 acre tobacco farm just to keep in shape.”
The doctor couldn’t believe it. So he said, “Well, how old was your grandfather when he died?”
The 60-year-old responded again, “Did I say he was dead?”
The doctor was astonished. He said, “You mean to tell me you are 60 years old and both your father and your grandfather are both alive? Is your grandfather very active?”
The patient replied, “Well he’s sort of retired but he has a trot line he runs every morning. He’s a dead shot with a rifle and fills his deer tag every year. He runs a few **** dogs for sport and he can still carry his liquor with the best of them. Not only that,” he added, “my grandfather is 106 years old, and next week he is getting married again.”
The doctor said, “At 106 years, why on earth did your grandfather want to get married?”
His patient looked up at the doctor and said, “Did I say he wanted to?”
