The Humor Thread


 
A pregnant woman is rushing to the hospital to give birth to twins and is in an accident and is unconscious and taken to the Hospital.

She awakens a week later and asks about the babies.

She is told that they are fine.

She says she has names for them

She is told - state law requires them to be named within 72 hours and when you didn't come to your cousin named them.

"Not my nutty cousin"

Yes, him - only relative we could find.

What did he name them?

The girl - Denise

I can live with that

How about the boy

Denephew
 
Actually this time of year is ST or Standard Time. If it was datlight saving time (not savings LOL) the sun would be setting at 1330
 
A young, newly engaged couple visits the woman's family for the holidays. After a rich, heavy meal, the young man becomes terribly gassy and badly needs to pass gas. But wary of etiquette, he holds it in as long as possible. After dessert, he can no longer withstand it and lets fly a quiet, silent, devastating fart. Embarrassed, he is about to excuse himself when suddenly, his future FIL yells, "Cinder!!"

Cinder, a gorgeous black lab, bows her head and moves away from the young man. He quickly realizes they think the dog is to blame and uses this to his advantage. Again, he passes gas and again, the FIL exclaims, "Cinder!" Cinder mopes away, tail between legs. The young fiancé believes it's worked...they all think it was the dog.

Finally, thinking he's in the clear, the young man releases a powerful burst.

Finally the FIL yells, "CINDER!! GET AWAY FROM THAT MAN BEFORE HE ****S ALL OVER YOU!!"
 
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