The Humor Thread

[Bob Bailey]

View attachment 73990

Sounds good as long as you're furnishing libations.

 

[LMichaels]

 

[Mark Silver]

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY! My steak is getting rested for tonight.

 

[DanHoo]

 

[Dave Mazz]

As much time as I spend using my three grills to prepare ribs, steaks, chicken, burgers, and other scrumptious meals, it's increasingly difficult to keep up with house cleaning and yard work. So, I've come to the difficult decision that something has to give, and though it's going to be difficult to let go, I've come to the realization that that I need to sell the following.

Two vacuum cleaners
One mop
One John Deere riding lawn tractor
Two string trimmers
One Swifter thingy
A whole bunch of Cleaning products
One fertilizer spreader
Two water sprinklers
Three 50 ft garden hoses

Serious inquiries only.

 

[Rusty James]

 

[LMichaels]

The guys named "Lucky"

 

[Mark Silver]

The guys named "Lucky"

or Lefty

 

[Mark Silver]

 

[LMichaels]

 

[LMichaels]

Apparently there was a lot of rain in Chicago this past weekend. I wouldn't know because there was not a drop out my way

 

[BFletcher]

 

[LMichaels]

 

[BFletcher]

Husband: "I can't find my dictionary."
Wife: "Have you looked upstairs?"
Husband: "I can't look up anything!"

 

[Tim Campbell]

A humble old Maine potato farmer is working his fields when a Cadillac with Texas plates pulls up.
The driver steps out and says, "Say, this is a nice farm you've got here. How many acres?"

The Mainer replies, "About one hundred."

The Texan chuckles a bit and says, "Well that's cute. But back on my cattle ranch it takes me an entire day just to drive around the property!"

Without missing a beat, the old Mainer states, "Ayuh. I used to have a car like that myself."

(Cue the tubas!)

 

[Phil Perrin]

 

[JSaus]

You have to sing it..

 

[BFletcher]

 

[Tim Campbell]

What's red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

 

[Mark Silver]

What's red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.