The Humor Thread


 
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BD
 
This is long but worth it:

A husband and wife are awakened at 3am by loud pounding on their front door. They look outside. It's pouring buckets and a car they don't recognize is on the sidewalk in front of their driveway.

The husband goes into action mode and bolts downstairs. He throws-opens the door and is greeted by a drunk man who asks, "If you don't mind, sir, could you please give me a push? I would be eternally grateful."

Taking in the scene, the husband replies, "Absolutely not! It's three in the morning, you're clearly drunk, and my wife and I were sleeping. Shove off!" He slams the door and returns to the bedroom.

"Who was that?" asks his wife.

"Just some drunk who needs a push."

"Well, did you help him?"

"He** no!" he barks. "Serves him right for driving drunk."

The wife takes exception and scolds him.

"Now wait just a minute, you hypocrite. Not three weeks ago you got your own damn car stuck in a ditch, in a storm, after that party, and random strangers helped push you out. Now get your butt back out their and give that poor man a push!"

"Okay, okay," he replies and suits-up in his raingear.

Moments later, he steps outside into the deluge and can barely see that the car is still there.

"HELLO!?" he cries. "YOU STILL HERE??"

"Yes, I'm still out here," comes the stranger's faint reply through the storm.

"I APOLOGIZE FOR EARLIER," yells the husband. "THAT WAS RUDE. CAN I HELP YOU? DO YOU STILL NEED A PUSH?"

"Yes, that would be lovely. Thank you very, very much," calls the drunken's voice in the darkness.

The husband makes his way to the car. Finding no one near, he calls back, "WELL?? WHERE THE HE** ARE YOU?!"

"Oh," replies the drunk. "I'm over here, on the swing!"
 

 

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