The Humor Thread


 
I was on highway 55, here in Idaho, on my way home behind an ambulance. Oddly, I noticed a small metal box sitting on the back bumper. When the ambulance turned the corner, the box flew off and landed on the curb. I thought it's about time to be a good Samaritan, so I pulled over and retrieved it. When I opened it, there was a human toe packed in an ice bag. Holy Smokes... I thought, so I called a local hospital and they said "yes, the ambulance had arrived without the box". I gave them my location and asked if they were going to send another ambulance to collect it?
The lady replied "No, we'll just send a toe truck."

Sorry, I don’t get out much!
 
Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth..

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$ 100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

You NEVER see the dust accumulating.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

> No wonder men are happier.
 
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I tried out my new Meater 2+ yesterday with a pork butt. When watching the YouTube videos about it, they said if you rename your cook, it makes it easier to find later if you want to repeat what you did. I thought just "Pork Butt" would be good so I'd know what it was I was cooking, but that was the default (which I should have expected). I still wanted something that told me what I was cooking. I considered just adding the date to the end (Pork Butt 4-14-2024), but that seemed boring. So I thought about it for a bit and named the cook...

I cannot lie.
 
D Livingston said:
I tried out my new Meater 2+ yesterday with a pork butt. When watching the YouTube videos about it, they said if you rename your cook, it makes it easier to find later if you want to repeat what you did. I thought just "Pork Butt" would be good so I'd know what it was I was cooking, but that was the default (which I should have expected). I still wanted something that told me what I was cooking. I considered just adding the date to the end (Pork Butt 4-14-2024), but that seemed boring. So I thought about it for a bit and named the cook...

I cannot lie.
Click to expand...
Pork Butt 4-14-2024 sounds good to me. Every time you make it, you and your family will think of me. 🥰
 
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