When I was on vacation and either the shop or a coworker would call me
I always answered my phone with, “ Hi, you’ve reached Phil’s phone. Phil’s not answering the phone right now and doesn’t give a $&€%#! about work right now. Leave a message at the beep and I’ll ignore your call in the order it was received. BEEP!”
After that the person calling would go, “What the $&@&$?!?” and I’d start laughing at them and take the call