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Rough Year


 
B

Brock Gingery

TVWBB Super Fan
So I signed back in earlier this year hoping for more time to spend on outdoor cooking and the forum, but sometimes things just are not in the cards. My uncle lost a fight to brain cancer the Monday after Easter, and my own father had a cancer scare of his own further into summer. He just made it home yesterday after his post surgery consultation and the good news is that the tumor and polyps that were removed were benign and there are no signs of them starting to regrow.

While several things got put on the back burner my mind does what it seems to always does, nonstop thinking. When visiting my uncle shortly before he passed the family made note that they dont usually barbeque all that much. The last time I got to see them was last year for memorial day when we had a cookout at his place up in the north of Wisconsin. The times I cherish most from my childhood were the times spent at either the cabin in the UP or at my grandparents in Michigan for hunting and fishing. It is when I got to see my uncle and cousins, most of the rest of the family, and it was usually gathered around the table. My grandfather loved food off the grill and is probably the reason I started learning how to barbeque.

The time we spend is important as well as the memories we make. I am thankful for the times spent gathered around a grill with family and friends. One of the last memories I will have of my uncle is him smiling standing over a grill flipping burgers for the meal. Ive done a little grilling this year, but a lot of thinking of family that have passed on.
Cherish the time you have.
 
Amen bro. Early tomorrow I'm gonna pull out the boneless rib roast primal I bought yesterday at Costco. WAY too much $$$, but I have my late youngest sister's son coming up from central IL, my other sister and her husband, both daughters, all the grandchildren and my brother's wife. I am going to make a center cut out of that hunk o' meat, score the fat cap, get a nice S&P rub down on it and on Big Z it will go. Then heading into our village and hopefully finding some deelish fresh sweet corn from Blackmer's Farm here in Cherry Valley. If they don't have any, will head out of town to Belvidere and grab some at my second fav farm, TJ's Farm Market on Genoa Rd just south of 90.
Those will come home, lop off the top of the silk, and right on the Wolf husk and all to be roasted nicely. Those will get slathered in grass fed organic butter and a hint of sea salt. We gonna eat good!
I'll end up with some smaller roasts and some nice thick ribeyes for the freezer
 
LMichaels said:
Amen bro. Early tomorrow I'm gonna pull out the boneless rib roast primal I bought yesterday at Costco. WAY too much $$$, but I have my late youngest sister's son coming up from central IL, my other sister and her husband, both daughters, all the grandchildren and my brother's wife. I am going to make a center cut out of that hunk o' meat, score the fat cap, get a nice S&P rub down on it and on Big Z it will go. Then heading into our village and hopefully finding some deelish fresh sweet corn from Blackmer's Farm here in Cherry Valley. If they don't have any, will head out of town to Belvidere and grab some at my second fav farm, TJ's Farm Market on Genoa Rd just south of 90.
Those will come home, lop off the top of the silk, and right on the Wolf husk and all to be roasted nicely. Those will get slathered in grass fed organic butter and a hint of sea salt. We gonna eat good!
I'll end up with some smaller roasts and some nice thick ribeyes for the freezer
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Thank you Mr Michaels. Hope all goes well for you tomorrow. We can't take the money with us when we go, and we dont know how much time we have. It sounds to me like you are going to get your money's worth out of that cut. God bless.
 
Brock Gingery said:
So I signed back in earlier this year hoping for more time to spend on outdoor cooking and the forum, but sometimes things just are not in the cards. My uncle lost a fight to brain cancer the Monday after Easter, and my own father had a cancer scare of his own further into summer. He just made it home yesterday after his post surgery consultation and the good news is that the tumor and polyps that were removed were benign and there are no signs of them starting to regrow.

While several things got put on the back burner my mind does what it seems to always does, nonstop thinking. When visiting my uncle shortly before he passed the family made note that they dont usually barbeque all that much. The last time I got to see them was last year for memorial day when we had a cookout at his place up in the north of Wisconsin. The times I cherish most from my childhood were the times spent at either the cabin in the UP or at my grandparents in Michigan for hunting and fishing. It is when I got to see my uncle and cousins, most of the rest of the family, and it was usually gathered around the table. My grandfather loved food off the grill and is probably the reason I started learning how to barbeque.

The time we spend is important as well as the memories we make. I am thankful for the times spent gathered around a grill with family and friends. One of the last memories I will have of my uncle is him smiling standing over a grill flipping burgers for the meal. Ive done a little grilling this year, but a lot of thinking of family that have passed on.
Cherish the time you have.
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Thank you for sharing! I'm glad you are here. You are absolutely right we never know how much time we have so definitely make the most of everyday. Spend time with loved ones as much as you can.

Do you currently have a grill or are you looking for a specific grill?
 
@Brock Gingery , I wish I had better words for you. :( At least for us, it's not getting easier. We just get more calls that more family members have gone.

My g/f & I have buried all 4 (and only 4....) of our parents between about 10 and 20 years ago. Only 1 of Dad's siblings is still around, a couple of Mom's are still here (and I'm going to miss my aunt's 85th bday party in a week.) 2 years ago, I hauled my smoker back to the farm where I grew up, and smoked food for the Kalchik clan reunion, about 60+ people, and it just doesn't happen often enough.
 
Josh Dekubber said:
Thank you for sharing! I'm glad you are here. You are absolutely right we never know how much time we have so definitely make the most of everyday. Spend time with loved ones as much as you can.

Do you currently have a grill or are you looking for a specific grill?
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I'm the grill guy in my family. If you look in my signature each of the grills I have are listed there.
 
JKalchik said:
@Brock Gingery , I wish I had better words for you. :( At least for us, it's not getting easier. We just get more calls that more family members have gone.

My g/f & I have buried all 4 (and only 4....) of our parents between about 10 and 20 years ago. Only 1 of Dad's siblings is still around, a couple of Mom's are still here (and I'm going to miss my aunt's 85th bday party in a week.) 2 years ago, I hauled my smoker back to the farm where I grew up, and smoked food for the Kalchik clan reunion, about 60+ people, and it just doesn't happen often enough.
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My condolences to you both. My own parents are getting up in age as well, and for my dad especially this was a tough one because it was his little brother. I hope you call your aunt to wish her Happy Birthday directly, and if you like tell her there are fellow bbq guys passing their best wishes along as well.

For Mr Allingham and everyone, I am writing this next part hoping it wont be a rules violation but to relate what happened. (I'm not trying to change anyone here or make you believe what I do. Thank you in advance)

Our side of the family is Christian, and it was a bit easier for us to handle. It didn't mean that we weren't grieving, but we understood that it was out of hands. My Uncle's family does not believe and there was a lot of anger almost to the point of rage, pain, and bitterness expressed when he passed. The fact that it happened so close to Easter only intensified those emotions. I love my aunt and cousins, but we did not have a way to comfort them while this was going on. We did not get to have a funeral or memorial service for him. It was a week or two later my oldest cousin tried to heal some wounds, and wrote a beautiful letter he sent out to all the family relatives. I am thankful to him.

It never gets easier, but it is a part of life. Some of us make it to old age and others pass very early. We never know when our time will be, but I hope to anyone and everyone here if they are going through this that they remember the time they had as a good thing.

Thank you J for your comment.
 
Brock Gingery said:
Our side of the family is Christian, and it was a bit easier for us to handle. It didn't mean that we weren't grieving, but we understood that it was out of hands. My Uncle's family does not believe and there was a lot of anger almost to the point of rage, pain, and bitterness expressed when he passed.
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Ever so politely..... I've observed that personal faith isn't necessarily an indicator of how someone will deal with grief. I've watched Christians just utterly melt down, I've watched other faiths (or faithless,) deal with it gracefully. There's so much more that plays into each situation.

I said for decades that the day that Dad quits farming is the day we plant him, and that really wasn't all that far off. The last time I saw him he was just struggling to keep on, on supplemental oxygen and other physical disabilities. It was visibly painful to him that he wasn't even able to hand me wrenches in the shop on that trip.
 
Yeah, I have a VERY long time friend (one of my 2 best in the world). Friends since grade school 5th grade. His mom is now at end stage Alzheimer's at just over 98 yo. He's taking care of her, but simply not allowing her to be "called home". He can't cope with that. He's doing everything he can to keep her on. But, if you see her and you've been through this horrible disease as I've seen a few times now. The signs are all there. But, he's darn near force feeding her and stuff. Refuses to even let a Hospice care evaluate her. Really sad. I keep trying to tell him explain, that all she is now is just a breathing corpse. He understands it but refuses to accept it. Even though she rarely wakes out of a comatose state, and when she does has no recognition of her surroundings or him. He constantly blames the nursing home for injuries I am sure she incurred on herself. Just as we'd seen with my own mom, and another long time grade school bud who went all too early from Alzheimer's at 57.
They thrash and fight.. We don't know with what. Or why. He was a long distance runner and was in extremely good cardio shape. At one point while doing rounds the doc said "he's actually dead but his body is so strong, it doesn't realize there is no brain left".
IDK what brings this horrid malady on. All I know is the stages and the signs of the end.
As a topper his mom had a sister. Who also succumbed to Alzheimer's. Only she passed about 17 years ago so only in her early 80s. Her husband (my pal's uncle) is now going on 103. Has all his marbles but is wheelchair bound. My friend is dealing with caring for both of them at home. Sadly I think we're going to bury him before his mom or uncle. Because of the undue stress he's placed on himself the last 20 years. Truly painful for me to watch all this unfold. But there is nothing I can do to ease his burden.
All I can say is Carpe' Diem. And live like every gifted day is the last
 
What I want is immaterial, except for my own situation. What matters is what YOU want, in the end stages. For the last 2 years of his life, Dad was in the hospital several times, and kept seeing other members of the clan who never walked out again. Passing in a hospital bed just terrified him, that was not how he wanted to go, and had a pretty iron clad Do Not Resuscitate order on file.

I will support anyone in the end stages, for however they want life to be. If you want to fight it, I'm right there with you. If you tell me you've had enough, I'll sit with you to the end.

Larry, I really feel for your friend, Alzheimer's, dementia, and a whole host of related conditions are really difficult to deal with.
 
Had dinner with a friend of 52 years last Wednesday, he enduring some degenerative muscular illness and looking more frail everytime I see him.
Time is precious, live life to its best!
 
JKalchik said:
Ever so politely..... I've observed that personal faith isn't necessarily an indicator of how someone will deal with grief. I've watched Christians just utterly melt down, I've watched other faiths (or faithless,) deal with it gracefully. There's so much more that plays into each situation.

I said for decades that the day that Dad quits farming is the day we plant him, and that really wasn't all that far off. The last time I saw him he was just struggling to keep on, on supplemental oxygen and other physical disabilities. It was visibly painful to him that he wasn't even able to hand me wrenches in the shop on that trip.
Click to expand...
What you say can definitely be true, and do not worry I take no offense. I had a similar occurrence with my Grandfather on my dads side, though it was Dialysis not oxygen he was on.
 
LMichaels said:
Yeah, I have a VERY long time friend (one of my 2 best in the world). Friends since grade school 5th grade. His mom is now at end stage Alzheimer's at just over 98 yo. He's taking care of her, but simply not allowing her to be "called home". He can't cope with that. He's doing everything he can to keep her on. But, if you see her and you've been through this horrible disease as I've seen a few times now. The signs are all there. But, he's darn near force feeding her and stuff. Refuses to even let a Hospice care evaluate her. Really sad. I keep trying to tell him explain, that all she is now is just a breathing corpse. He understands it but refuses to accept it. Even though she rarely wakes out of a comatose state, and when she does has no recognition of her surroundings or him. He constantly blames the nursing home for injuries I am sure she incurred on herself. Just as we'd seen with my own mom, and another long time grade school bud who went all too early from Alzheimer's at 57.
They thrash and fight.. We don't know with what. Or why. He was a long distance runner and was in extremely good cardio shape. At one point while doing rounds the doc said "he's actually dead but his body is so strong, it doesn't realize there is no brain left".
IDK what brings this horrid malady on. All I know is the stages and the signs of the end.
As a topper his mom had a sister. Who also succumbed to Alzheimer's. Only she passed about 17 years ago so only in her early 80s. Her husband (my pal's uncle) is now going on 103. Has all his marbles but is wheelchair bound. My friend is dealing with caring for both of them at home. Sadly I think we're going to bury him before his mom or uncle. Because of the undue stress he's placed on himself the last 20 years. Truly painful for me to watch all this unfold. But there is nothing I can do to ease his burden.
All I can say is Carpe' Diem. And live like every gifted day is the last
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We lost both my mom's parents to that disease, and right during the middle of Covid with the lockdowns and restrictions for her father. The family wasnt even allowed to visit him because he was already in terminal care. I'll be praying for your friend.
 
Brock Gingery said:
I'm remembering memories fondly. I was glad I was able to share some private time alone with my Uncle and talked to him about how much those memories meant to me a month before.
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I completely understand and everyone here will be touched to hear that. One of the things that I love about this site is the knowledge that we're all here for each other in ways that transcend cooking. We've got your back, as ridiculous or uncanny as that sounds.
 
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