Roy-Parallax
TVWBB Pro
The unhealthy addictive impulse isn't really about Weber grills but rather an addictive impulse in myself. Perhaps it's just dopamine hits one gets, just like when gambling or playing video games. I noticed it when there was this sweet little blue lidded grill available quite a distance from me. I immediately wanted it even though there was no reason. I'd just bought a blue lid from Bruce and I had no use for another. Then it got grabbed before I could get there and I was bummed. Ironically, it was Bruce who said not to worry, another would come along soon. And sure enough, just like that, there was another. But before I could grab it, same thing. Someone snatched it out from under me.
That happened this morning and I noticed that I was feeling really down. Significantly enough to call it a touch of depression. Again, I was asking myself why. I still have no need for another lid. In addition to the blue one that Bruce worked really hard to send my way (an effort far exceeded by the sum I paid), I have another sweet burgundy lid which I love. If I got a third, I'd have to store one in the garage or sell it or give it away.
A buddy was going to drive down with me to pick up this grill tonight. Texted to let him know it wasn't happening and he sent back a message similar to Bruce's. Just reminding me that it's no big deal. And again, that human input helped set me straight. Then I spoke to my wife and that helped too. She's a psychologist so she understands these things well. I'm fine with it now. Maybe even a bit relieved because the pull was so strong and impulsive. I had become the effect rather than the cause.
I'm realizing I'm enjoying this hobby but I need to be careful to keep it light. To stay at cause rather than to become grasping and at its effect. That's the challenge but, seeing it this way, through this lens, it feels like a healthy perspective. Using the unhealthy pull as grist for the mill, as a reminder to walk a straight line, to hold my balance and not get sucked in too deep.
As a child, I'd had a similar experience with spectator sports. If my team won, I was happy. If they lost, I didn't want to eat. At some point, I realized I needed to hold it differently and I learned to do that. To enjoy the wins but not suffer the losses. To find aspects to enjoy regardless of the outcome. That seemed particularly important in sports because only one team each year wins the championship. I imagine most sports lovers learn these lessons. Either that, or most suffer.
Since I don't smoke or drink or gamble, one wouldn't typically call me an addictive personality. When I was younger, I think it's safe to say there were times I was addicted to women but these days I'm older and super happily married so my eye doesn't rove. But clearly I'm still succeptible to these pulls. I think there's a way in which most everyone suffers from addictions of one sort or another. From a different angle, they're just part of the human condition. Isn't that what's behind the Torah story of the golden calf? Each of us has golden calves. One find it addressed in many religions. The Buddhists talk about enlightenment as the realization that "no thing" or nothing is better than anything else. In Islam, the same idea is encapsulated in the words "la illaha illa'llah" -- there is no god but God (essentially, there is no thing but the big everything; so it's saying we should keep our focus on that underlying unity).
So, as I was saying, I'm feeling good now. Spent some time playing with my 7 year old son. Now I'm writing here, sharing these ideas. Next up, I'll go out and spend a little time working on my new hobby with these grills. Remembering to breath. Enjoying what's left of this beautiful day. Appreciating my oh-so-limited time on this planet.
That happened this morning and I noticed that I was feeling really down. Significantly enough to call it a touch of depression. Again, I was asking myself why. I still have no need for another lid. In addition to the blue one that Bruce worked really hard to send my way (an effort far exceeded by the sum I paid), I have another sweet burgundy lid which I love. If I got a third, I'd have to store one in the garage or sell it or give it away.
A buddy was going to drive down with me to pick up this grill tonight. Texted to let him know it wasn't happening and he sent back a message similar to Bruce's. Just reminding me that it's no big deal. And again, that human input helped set me straight. Then I spoke to my wife and that helped too. She's a psychologist so she understands these things well. I'm fine with it now. Maybe even a bit relieved because the pull was so strong and impulsive. I had become the effect rather than the cause.
I'm realizing I'm enjoying this hobby but I need to be careful to keep it light. To stay at cause rather than to become grasping and at its effect. That's the challenge but, seeing it this way, through this lens, it feels like a healthy perspective. Using the unhealthy pull as grist for the mill, as a reminder to walk a straight line, to hold my balance and not get sucked in too deep.
As a child, I'd had a similar experience with spectator sports. If my team won, I was happy. If they lost, I didn't want to eat. At some point, I realized I needed to hold it differently and I learned to do that. To enjoy the wins but not suffer the losses. To find aspects to enjoy regardless of the outcome. That seemed particularly important in sports because only one team each year wins the championship. I imagine most sports lovers learn these lessons. Either that, or most suffer.
Since I don't smoke or drink or gamble, one wouldn't typically call me an addictive personality. When I was younger, I think it's safe to say there were times I was addicted to women but these days I'm older and super happily married so my eye doesn't rove. But clearly I'm still succeptible to these pulls. I think there's a way in which most everyone suffers from addictions of one sort or another. From a different angle, they're just part of the human condition. Isn't that what's behind the Torah story of the golden calf? Each of us has golden calves. One find it addressed in many religions. The Buddhists talk about enlightenment as the realization that "no thing" or nothing is better than anything else. In Islam, the same idea is encapsulated in the words "la illaha illa'llah" -- there is no god but God (essentially, there is no thing but the big everything; so it's saying we should keep our focus on that underlying unity).
So, as I was saying, I'm feeling good now. Spent some time playing with my 7 year old son. Now I'm writing here, sharing these ideas. Next up, I'll go out and spend a little time working on my new hobby with these grills. Remembering to breath. Enjoying what's left of this beautiful day. Appreciating my oh-so-limited time on this planet.
