My Favorite rub is Bill's "Texas BBQ Rub 'ORIGINAL'," however, at first newbies wife's seem to think it has bit hot taste, and maybe it does.
I have tride Butcher's BBQ Honey Rub and it is especially good on pooultry, no "Bite" of pepper, but you could use it on ribs, or "Plowboys Bold" rub sold at your local Bass Pro Shop, then add a little of Texas BBQ Rub to spice it up a bit.
You are NOT doing anything wrong, but it just takes time, and a variety of rubs and smokes to figure out which is your favorite.
Next "beer can chicken I smoke", I'm going to "Texas BBQ Rub Original", as I like some "bite" and good tast to meat, not just plain-Jane bland food. You have to get "Adventrous" and try some different stuff untlil you hit on what your entire family likes.
Good luck.