Is real BBQ too hot for your woman?


 
G

Graham Timson

New member
It is for mine; since I introduced myself to you guys in August having just taken delivery of my WSM I have done about 12 smokes, which include Brisket, Ribs, Butts and Roadside chicken.

I have tried making my own rubs using recipes kindly sent to me by forum members. I have tried BBQ of the Americas from Penzey’s, very hot, even for me, Texas BBQ rub, which I liked, but she thought it too spicy hot.

It is quite frustrating, especially when come the weekends I rearing to BBQ and her eyes are rolling and she’s thinking OH No! Not again.

Am I alone in this, or is it a common problem that women generally do not like spicier food? I guess I will just have to continue experimenting with various milder rub recipes just wonder whether I going to end spoiling the whole thing about real BBQ.

The only bright note was she liked the Roadside Chicken
 
I can't say it is common, at least around my house. My wife likes it spicy, almost as much as me.

You can try keeping it simple...just use some good old salt and pepper on your next brisket or butt. If she like garlic, then you can try to add a little garlic as well.
 
My SO is Latina and grew-up eating spicy foods, no problems here.

We do however have a 6 year old who doesn't like spicy/hot foods. Most of the rubs I use call for cayenne and I usually just cut that in 1/2 if he'll be eating with us and we're good.
 
We grew up near the Mexican border and both love spicey foods. Even my kids 9 yo and 6 yo don't really have a problem with most of the rubs I use. Like Larry, I just watch out how much Cayenne I use in them. But the Ancho and New Mexico chili's see ok for them.
 
Oh, women - don't get me started!
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I keed, I keed.

It's an individual thing. I know women who like spicy and many that don't. Kids generally don't like spicy.

I have had to adjust the heat of my rubs to cater to the kids and others. But sometimes I just warn dinner participants and spice it up to the level I like.
 
Same here for me, I have had to cut back on the heat from what I like and compromise with the wife and kids. At one time I made a separate batch of rub just for them and one for me but that was overkill, now I eat what they eat.
 
I prefer hot, but my wife is a sissy. I just sprinkle cayenne on mine to heat it up without changing the flavor much if at all. Same with my chili.
 
I like very hot and spicy; many women--and men--I know like the same, and many women--and men--I know dislike heat, or like much, much less of it.

Still, having eaten at hundreds of commercial stands, joints, and restaurants around the country, the vast majority of 'real' barbecue is, sans sauce, annoyingly bland, in my opinion of course. Salt and pepper, alone or with very scant amounts of other seasonings, is quite the norm. Many people like this, obviously. I find it very boring. Many places rely on their sauce(s) to add seasoning post cook. I find this, shall we say, unfortunate.
 
Do not look at this as hinderance my friend, view it as a challenge. I mean that. I have a very mild pallated wife, my 11 yo will take a little heat, my 4yo has an amazing tolerance and want for heat...sometimes, my 7yo, ZERO tolerance and extremely picky as well. When I'm cooking at home, I have to please everyone, if I don't, I become a short order cook!

I emphasize to my family that there are two kinds of spicy...a hot spicy and a combination of flavors that is exciting and different (dang sound like that Rat in Ratatoille (sp)).

Get out the allspice and nutmeg and cinnamon, the tyme, oregano, sage, try some ancho chili powder...bigger flavor than most paprikas, not as harsh as most mixed chili powders. Alepo (sp?) peppers are another one...my family swears they hate peppers, but altering their use (ground instead of diced), all of a sudden my family loves the food.

I used to be so perturbed by the "picky" eater factor, or spice sensitive factor, whatever. Honestly, having to combat that has improved my overall cooking. Taking something that is bland and making it exciting without being offensive...making the picky enjoy what the adventerous eater might be enthused with also...its a challenge.

Personlly, I love spicy (hot), but to be honest, taking the spicy (hot) route is often easy, try instead to take the other spicy route to satisfy your need for spice adventure and your wife's sensitve pallate.

Oh and to answer your question, my "woman" (my wife!!!) is my biggest BBQ fan. She holds a very important role on our competition team..."taste profiler" because when she likes it...there a darn good chance that the judges will like it too!!!
 
Well said Joe.

Though I prefer heat (something other than cayenne which, to me, is virtually flavorless) and like making hot rubs, it's flavor I seek in the end, whether it's my own Q or some I purchase. Flavor elements in a rub can complement and contrast each other, can complement meat, smoke, and sauce, and can enhance the flavors meat naturally takes on during cooking. Hot elements are not required for this but flavorful elements are, preferably spices and herbs of high quality.
 
Another thing you can try is some citrus marinades (mojo or something along those lines). I do like the flsvor of that with pork and chicken.

I also smoke pork shoulder wrapped in banana leaves with just hawaiian sea salt, ginger, and garlic) you can still get some decent flavors.

Clark
 
I have eaten the local food in many countries especially in Asia and eaten the local food in many parts of India (the food varies from area to area.) Heat is not the important factor in these foods. It is the different combinations of spices that produce the unique flavours. Yes, some food is also hot, but not to the extent that many Westerners try to achieve and eat.

One of my friends gave me a pack of three different BBQ sauces for Christmas, one was a typical BBQ smoky flavour that was pleasant, a slight tang with a hickory after-taste, it was called Sauce for Sissies. One was a similar flavour with the addition of chilli for that added kick it was called Bear Claw (guaranteed to burn the fur of your claws), this too was nice and had enough heat to satisfy most palates and had a full mouth after flavour with a tingle on the lips. The other was called Moonshine Madness, fair dinkum, talk about hot, it would melt the heat shields off the space shuttle. I can eat extremely hot spiced food and this stuff brought me up short, to cool it down you would have to mix it with paint stripper, I suffered third degree burns to my nether regions when I had a bout of flatulence after eating it.

I digress - I would suggest that instead of trying to achieve heat in the rub that you try for a variance in the flavours with different combinations of spices. I notice the Kevin does this regularly in his recipes; Kevin is one of those gifted individuals that understand spices and the flavour combinations that can be produced. Most of his recommendations do not over emphasise the use of heat producing spices but blend them in to a pyramid of flavours. By all means use chillies for the notes that they produce in the overall flavour, just use milder ones without the seeds. A good portion of the heat is contained within the seeds whilst much of the flavour is in the flesh.

Regards
 
Quite often it is, which sucks for me..I often dont make it as spicey is I would like, but the fun is also in the process, and the beer during the process...so its all good.
 
Most of my family likes somewhat spicy foods. Very seldom do I tone it down.

My wife however doesn't like to eat bbq every weekend. She just doesn't like it as well as me. Bummer for me. Actually after smokin every weekend in the summer it is nice to get some time off.
 
Try finding a good hot sauce that you like (I like Chalula), to pour on your q at the table, and then cut down on the heat in your rubs. That's what I do
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I can almost eat habaneros by themselves!. Wife is 180 degrees from me on this, so i compromise and use very little pepper and hot sauce of any kind, except on my portions.
Black pepper is my favorite spice, i can blacken anything with it and love it.
BUT, she loves the food i cook on the WSM, especially pork butts.
 
This must depend upon who is defining "real" BBQ.
"Real" BBQ is not necessarily hot or spicy. Traditional American BBQ has mostly been meats
that have been wood smoked, with a few spices
maybe some sauce. It was those crazy Texans
who introduced the heat, but they live in a
"whole nuther country" anyway. They learned
about the heat from their Mexican neighbors.
Some heat is fine some of the time, but other
traditional Q'ers are of the opinion that
the heat and lots of spice mask the flavor of the meat. If you mask the flavor of the meat
you have missed the point of "real" BBQ.
 
Well, to those who'd 'mask the flavor of the meat', I'd question their cooking skills. If the flavor is masked either the rub is wrong for the meat, poorly made/proportioned, and/or too heavily applied.

Nothing wrong with no rub, salt-and-pepper only, or whatever if that's what the cook prefers of course.

I'm not sure how Texas got 'blamed' for introducing heat to barbecue though I've heard that numerous times. Maybe it's because of chili? Dunno. Some places have a sauce with heat, most don't have sauces that are all that hot, but the meat without sauce?--with few exceptions it runs from bland to innocuous.
 
Originally posted by Graham Timson:
The only bright note was she liked the Roadside Chicken
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She isn't so bad in my book. LOL! Sorry, couldn't resist that one.
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Insteaad of spicy/hot go with big and bold.
Basic rub would be
This is in parts. Salt and Sugar 1 to 1 or 1 sugar to 3/4 salt or 1 sugar to 1/2 salt depending on your prefference. Then add granulated garlic and onion along with fresh cracked pepper. Big and bold, some spice but no heat.
Here's an example for a brisket rub, and yes you can add to it, or take away from it. Nothing is written in stone. Adjust to your likes and disslikes.
1/2 C salt
1/2 C sugar
1 TBS Granulated Garlic
2 TBS Granulated Onion
2 TBS Fresh Ground/Craked Pepper
 
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