Well, first, allow me to disabuse you of the notion that the in-the-air approach to steeling is the best method. It isn't. The flailing one sees on the cooking shows is often just silly and is probably
the thing that keeps home cooks from learning anything about steeling and its importance and so they don't bother; their knives suffer.
Steeling is one of the most important skills to have and utilize, when it comes to knives, without question. An in-the-air approach can be learned then practiced but it is more important to understand the point and process and learn an easier way first, imo, so that you're comfortable with it and thus reap its benefits.
Frequent steeling will keep your knives sharper for much, much longer. A sharp knife is much, much safer than a dull or dulling knife. It's good for the knives and so is good for you. You should steel pretty much every time you use your knives. I'm speaking here of steeling with a regular cut or smooth metal steel, not a diamond or ceramic. (Those two are different and their use should be much less frequent.)
For most home cooks a regular cut steel is probably best. Though the steel will remove a little metal (and thus provide a little sharpening) while it realigns the edge, this is nothing to be concerned with. A regular cut steel offers good tactile feedback and that's important when you're just getting the hang of it. (Very avid cooks--those doing frequent multiple-hour cooking sessions with heavy knife work should consider getting both a regular cut and a fine cut or smooth (polished) steel.) F.Dick makes superior metal steels of varying prices based on finish, cut, length, and handle material. (
Here, scroll past the diamonds.)
Hold the steel so that the tip is straight down on a cutting board or kitchen towl, something that won't slip. Put your knife edge on the steel directly (but gently), so that it's at 90 degrees. Tip your knife so that it's half that, or 45 degrees, then half of that angle again--that will put you at 22 degrees or so, just where you want to be for the vast majority of knives from American and European manufacturers. (Angles and edges are different on Japanese knives in most cases and many Japanese knives should not be steeled with metal.)
From PCD--they're succinct:
Start with the heel of the blade contacting the steel as close to the handle as possible with the tip pointing straight out away from you. Pull the blade back towards you and down the shaft of the steel. The motion should end with the tip of the blade in contact with the steel towards the bottom of the shaft. Switch sides and do the exact same thing on the other side. Because you are holding the steel vertically you can see that you are using the same angle on both sides. Repeat about 4 - 5 times. Gentle pressure is all that is needed. You don't want to grind your knife. If you hear an almost musical sound, the pressure is perfect.
That's all there is to it. If you do it slowly and watch what you're doing you can maintain your angle without trouble. As your body gets comfortable with how it should feel your speed will increase naturally. It is not necessary to try to be fast. It's just a matter of being aware of what you're doing while you're doing it.