Best Review of the Weber Performer that I've seen!


 

S.Six

TVWBB All-Star
Got this off of Amazon.com
It was one, of the four, 1star reviews. This guy is either a total moron, or a Genius! I just did a cut and paste. Here it is.
**One Heck Of An Expensive Piece Of JunkBy eggman - May 2, 2006

I have been grilling and bbq'ing for over 3 years now. I have won my cul-de-sack grandmaster grilling championship for the past 3 years running and, as the cul-de-sack representative, have placed in the top 20, out of 25 mind you, of our annual neighborhood cookoff the past 3 years as well.

I know barbequinq. I know smokeing. I know grilling.

This Weber grill is trash.

First off, it comes UNASSEMBLED!

For $300.00 I expect to receive a grill ready to go, straight out of the box. Bolts, Screws, Grates, Holes? I don't have time for any of that. I have to marinade my meat to be ready for prime time smokeing. I expect a grill to be ready out of the box. I don't have 8 (yes it took me eihgt) hours to put this thing together. That is a full workday. Nonsense. If I have to put it together, then it should be a heck of a lot cheaper.

Second, after I put it together I have absolutly no charcoal to cook with. Evidently the geniuses at Weber have figured out a way to cook without charcoal! I just wish they could have put these instructions for cooking without charcoal in the manual as I (along with everyone else I have asked) don't know how you cook without charcoal. Again, for the price I paid it should come with the charcoal. I went back to the home improvement store that I purchased the grill from and they insisted that it does not come with charcoal. RIPOFF!!!

Rather than argue with the employee I go ahead and buy some charcoal for the grill. He recommends some kind of fancy hardwood charcoal. I get it. I put some in the grill. I light the grill and it looks like a fire is going good. Okay, maybe despite the rough start the grill will work out. Well I have news for you. IT DOES NOT WORK!!!

I go ahead and put the Turkey on that I am planning to cook. After little more than two hours I go to check on how it is cooking. THE FIRE IS OUT! I have no idea for how long my turkey has been sitting over no heat. I just know that I am way behind now in serving dinner for my family. I go ahead and fill the grill up with charcoal and pour some more lighter fluid on. I put the turkey back on, stick a match through the grate to light the fire. Holy smokes we have a fire going now. I figure all is well so I head back inside. I go back out in 30 minutes (having learned the grill won't cook for 2 hours by itself I check earlier this time) and the turkey is charred black. Darker than midnight. Burned to a crisp. I am now steaming.

I go ahead and bring the turkey inside and cut into it. It is still FROZEN!!! How can it be so black on the outside and still frozen on the inside? THIS GRILL STINKS!!!

I cannot offer my recommendation on this grill. I was looking forward to cooking on this grill for all the positive reviews I had read, but I cannot recommend it. Either I don't know what I am doing (and I know that is not the case, ask my neighbors in the cul-de-sack) or this grill stinks. Back to the Hibachi I used in college.

If you want to put together a grill, not have charcoal included, not cook turkey because the grill does not know how, and disappoint your family, buy this grill. It will accomplish all of these tasks.

WEBER IS BAD! NUMBER NINE GRILL IN AMERICAN IS BETTER THAN THIS ONE! DON'T BUY THIS GRILL IF YOU LIKE TO EAT TASTY FOOD!

To the people that have been criticizing my review. Let's see your trophies. I have mine stacked up. Thanks for your opinion though. I stand by mine.

21*of*448*people found this review helpful

Hope you enjoyed this as much as I did.
 
This guy is a moron.
If this guy is the best in his neighborhood I wonder what the worst cook there will take to put together the performer 16 hours with a team of 4.....lol
 
Here is my reply to this guy......Yeah you're right dude....in your hands, the grill sucks.....my advice is to unassemble, pack it up and taken it back for your refund because you sir should never ever be left alone with a grill again:p.
 
That review is hilarious! I wonder if Amazon gets upset at these joke reviews. That guy is a funny writer though.
 
Funny review. I'm into Mountain Biking and reading other people's reviews is always entertaining... "bike climbs like a scalded mountain goat".
My webers cook like 'satan on steroids armed with a propane weed burner'
 
When I first read this review I thought what a jerk, then I drank a 12 pack of beer and half a bottle of Jack, read the review again and I thought...."hey this guy might be on to something" In fact I'm thinking about finding out where he lives and I can uproot my whole life just to be his neighbor.
 
Oh dear, never bring an Idiot to his cul de `sack`...youll find plenty when you get there!! Will someone show him where the de-frost button is on the Kettle!
 
I think this is was a spoof, but be glad for people like that. Without them, who would buy webers full retail, use 3 times, and sell to us on craigslist for less than half of what they paid. We need those people, we LOVE those people!!!!

I just need someonelike this a 18.5 WSM to allow me to take it off their hands for pennies on the dollar
 

 

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